The Blighted King has a presence. It weighs down on me as I walk forwards. The silent feasting hall is too long, and the few of us have to walk past the watching guests, hearts pounding.<\/p>\n
And as we approach the front of the room, I feel it. The King sits at his table, next to a tall woman who dwarfs him with her stature. But he is like a rock, too heavy. His very existence weighs us down, makes me feel\u2014<\/p>\n
Gassy?<\/em><\/p>\n I can remember the first time I stood in front of him. Then, it was like being crushed as he looked at us. Now, it is different.<\/p>\n Around me, the others shudder. I see Emily\u2019s face go pale, Keith start sweating, Cynthia\u2019s eyes roll wildly in her head, and Richard clench his jaw. They are being crushed. I walk, feeling my shoulders ache. It\u2019s\u2026heavy.<\/p>\n That\u2019s all.<\/p>\n We stop, in a ragged line along the steps leading up to the raised area where he is seated. The King looks down at us. We meet again.<\/p>\n There is no love in his gaze, no sense of familiarity. He weighs us with eyes that seem like scales, measuring our worth. Most of us stare at our feet, or at some other part of the room. Some are shaking. I look at the Blighted King. I can\u2019t be afraid of him. Not like I was.<\/p>\n Does that make me strange? I\u2019m certainly alone from the others. I can feel it, but I can\u2019t help it. Fear\u2019s another one of those things I lost. I\u2019m not afraid of people with swords. I\u2019m not happy about being stabbed, but they can\u2019t scare me.<\/p>\n I scare me.<\/p>\n \u201cSo. The heroes of prophecy return. Diminished.\u201d<\/p>\n The Blighted King speaks at last. His voice echoes through the chamber. It\u2019s not grand. It\u2019s not particularly wise. It\u2019s just an old man\u2019s voice, tired. I stare at him and see few grey hairs in his beard. But he is old. He sounds like it. I wonder how long Nereshal has been keeping him young.<\/p>\n Here sits a monster. Ageless. And here stands a monster. Can he see it in you, Tom? Or is this King as worthless as the land he rules?<\/em><\/p>\n The King\u2019s eyes flick towards me for a second, and then towards Richard and Emily.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have been told that two of your number have reached Level 30. A commendable achievement in such a short time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMiraculous.\u201d<\/p>\n The whisper comes from the Blighted Queen. She\u2019s younger than the King, but her towering height makes her seem older. I stare at her. She can\u2019t be more than thirty, while he\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cBut so many have been lost. We sent over sixty of you to do battle against the Demons. Now less than a third remain.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat wasn\u2019t our fault! We told you, we\u2019re not warriors. We\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Emily raises her voice and chokes as the Blighted King\u2019s gaze falls on her. He nods, once.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you have said. But some of you are warriors. The rest have seen the threat which imperils our nation. Nay, the very world itself. Would you hide behind walls my people have died for, deny your purpose still?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot me. I\u2019ll fight. But we can\u2019t all be held to the same standard, Your Majesty.\u201d<\/p>\n This time it\u2019s Richard who speaks. The Blighted King weighs his words and nods.<\/p>\n \u201cOne has reached Level 30 in three months. A [Knight] he stands, sworn against darkness. Yet no [Lord] or [Lady] has given him a title. Another, a [Mage] of water, has taught herself. Miraculous feats, as our lady says.\u201d<\/p>\n The Blighted King looks across our group, at frightened faces. He pauses.<\/p>\n \u201cYou will have a place in our halls, and your companions\u2019 food and my protection so long as you hold back the scourge of darkness. But we have heard of one more. A champion who defended our people. A warrior who slew a Demon raiding party single-handed.\u201d<\/p>\n His eyes move to me. I feel a chill.<\/p>\n \u201cYou. Step forwards.\u201d<\/p>\n I can see Richard and Emily both staring at me, worried, out of the corners of their eyes. I take a step forwards and sense the eyes of everyone in the hall on me. Oh boy.<\/p>\n Want me to tell them a joke? How about a magic trick?<\/em><\/p>\n My lips twitch. I try not to smile. I don\u2019t feel afraid. Rather, in this moment, as the Blighted King stares at me, some strange, perverse side of me wants to fart, or laugh. He\u2019s so serious. Everyone is. They hang on his words. Whereas I\u2014<\/p>\n Get the joke.<\/em><\/p>\n The hilarity vanishes. I feel cold. No, it\u2019s not funny. The Blighted King certainly doesn\u2019t find me amusing. He frowns.<\/p>\n \u201cWe recall thee from before. Who art thou? What is your class? [Warrior]? [Mage]? [Rogue]?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNone of those, Your Majesty. I\u2019m\u2014I\u2019m a [Clown]. Not a fighter, actually.\u201d<\/p>\n He stares at me. I hear Cynthia begin to giggle, a mad, hysterical cackle which cuts off quickly. The King looks confused.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat class is this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne from our world, Your Highness. Tom is an\u2014an entertainer. Someone who makes people laugh. Clowns aren\u2019t fighters. They\u2019re\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Emily trails off, unable to explain what I am. The King exchanges a slow glance with his Queen. I can sense people\u2019s eyes fixed on my back. I know I look ordinary. I don\u2019t have my face paint on, or a rubber nose or the oversized shoes I made. I\u2019m not juggling or wearing a silly grin. I have nothing to prove I have a funny class in any way.<\/p>\n You have me. You always have me.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAn entertainer? How did you slay a war band of Demons, then? Speak.\u201d<\/p>\n He looks at me and I feel heavier. That\u2019s all. And perhaps it\u2019s the devil in my chest, but I don\u2019t want to answer. So I shrug.<\/p>\n \u201cLuck, I guess. Your Majesty. I don\u2019t know how exactly. But that\u2019s what us summoned heroes are supposed to do, right? I got\u2026lucky. But I am no warrior. Sorry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n I hear a hiss and see Richard wince. The Blighted King fixes me with a look that tells me he\u2019s annoyed.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you claim. But if thou art an entertainer, prove it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n He leans back in his chair that\u2019s like and unlike a throne and gestures.<\/p>\n \u201cPerform, [Clown]. Show the court the tricks of your profession. Make us laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh boy. Now everyone\u2019s staring at me, and I suddenly find myself on the spot. I glance around uncertainly and see Richard giving me a pale-faced look. Emily\u2019s standing back and half of the others are trying to pretend they don\u2019t know me.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have my makeup, my props\u2014but I can tell there\u2019s no point protesting or making excuses. So I sigh and flick my wrist. A bright red ball, stuffed with dried beans to make it round, appears in my hand. I hear a murmur and someone at the head table sits up.<\/p>\n My heart isn\u2019t pounding. I feel embarrassed and sure I\u2019m about to make an idiot out of myself, but I\u2019m not afraid. Why? Why not?<\/p>\n No, this is normal. It\u2019s because I\u2019ve seen worse than this. Far worse. What\u2019s a few minutes of humiliation?<\/p>\n I hold the red ball up, and I sense a thousand pairs of eyes on me. Now I do smile, at the ludicrous nature of this. I\u2019m no famous performer. I\u2019m self-taught, and badly at that! I couldn\u2019t make a bunch of village kids laugh. But here I am, about to perform before the Blighted King. Okay, that is<\/em> funny.<\/p>\n Wilen, this is for you. Red ball in hand, I flick my other hand and a blue one appears. I hear a soft gasp, from the Blighted King\u2019s table, but nowhere else.<\/p>\n That\u2019s right. I can make things appear and disappear at will. I can also make objects vanish, pull the old \u2018coin behind the ear\u2019 trick with objects too large to hide. Because I have a pocket space.<\/p>\n It\u2019s two Skills, actually. [Sleight of Hand] and [Trick Space]. One allows me to do stupid tricks like you\u2019d see card magicians do if I had a deck of cards, and the other gives me an invisible space around my body I can pull objects out of and put into. I keep three balls there. The third comes out, yellow and worn.<\/p>\n A second gasp. Who\u2019s making that sound? For the first time I wrench my gaze away from the Blighted King and to his left. I see a young woman, not more than\u2026sixteen perhaps, sitting tall at his side, wearing a sparkling circlet made of dark metal. And sitting next to her, on a cushion to let her actually reach her plate on the table\u2014<\/p>\n A young girl. A [Princess], no doubt. Her dress is bright green and white, and she\u2019s very pretty in that way kids are. Her eyes are wide as they fix on the balls in my hand. A child. I saw her laughing at the guy doing pratfalls earlier. I give her a small bow. Hope this entertains you at least, kid.<\/p>\n It won\u2019t. You suck.<\/em><\/p>\n Shut up. I begin tossing the balls up in the air, juggling them quickly. It\u2019s hard to do three balls at once. I know that tells you how much I suck, but I had to practice a long time to get to that level. [Sleight of Hand] doesn\u2019t work with juggling and I don\u2019t have a Skill.<\/p>\n I really need one. At least [Unerring Throw] lets me decide where the balls come down. Hey, I might be able to do four balls this way! Too bad I don\u2019t have<\/em> four balls.<\/p>\n The room watches me juggle, and I see the young [Princess] brighten and nearly clap her hands as I start juggling the balls high into the air. The older girl, another [Princess] probably, stops her. Everyone watches as I juggle.<\/p>\n And watches.<\/p>\n And watches\u2026<\/p>\n After a few seconds they realize that\u2019s all I\u2019m going to do. Yes, that\u2019s right. I can feel the Blighted King\u2019s gaze boring into me. What? Do you want me to do pins? I can juggle pins too, but my act has been pratfalls, juggling, and terrible jokes. And I think that if I tried to trip over his table, I\u2019d be skewered.<\/p>\n So I\u2019m giving him a terrible performance. I was planning on just juggling until he stopped me, but then it happens. I hear a sound.<\/p>\n \u201c\u266aDoo doo doodle do do doo doo doot~\u266b<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Oh god. The music.<\/em> It\u2019s been too long since I heard it play. I could live for the rest of my life without it. I sense a shift when it goes off, and hear a muffled sound from the others standing around me. The rest of the room just stares, uncomprehending.<\/p>\n Clown music. Silly, stupid. It fills the grand room, playing stupidly. Only with a twist. There\u2019s laughter, too. Someone\u2019s laughing.<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not anyone in this room. I nearly drop a ball, making it vanish before tossing it back up in the air as the laughter plays with the music. There\u2019s a spectral audience now, laughing voices, as if I really am at a circus.<\/p>\n That\u2019s not what scares me, though. I hear one of the voices laughing. And it\u2019s my own. It laughs and laughs, until I stop juggling.<\/p>\n This time, the silence is different. I make all three balls vanish and bow silently. The [Princess] looks vaguely entertained. Everyone else does not. But the music. Ah, the music. I look sideways and see Richard staring at me with a pale face.<\/p>\n Everyone, all of the other young men and women from my world, are giving me the same look. They remember. And the music scares them.<\/p>\n That doesn\u2019t escape the attention of the Blighted King. He stares at me, and then at the others. How much does he actually know about what I did? He waits, until he realizes I\u2019m not doing anything else.<\/p>\n \u201cContinue, [Clown].\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat?\u201d<\/p>\n His eyebrows raise. He looks incredulous. I nod, waiting for him to tell me I\u2019m a fraud or whatever. I don\u2019t want to hear that sound ever again. But then someone else bellows into the silence.<\/p>\n \u201cRidiculous!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n The word makes me jump. I see Richard jump, Emily turn white\u2014Cynthia screams, predictably. A flash of color brushes against me to my left, and someone pushes me out of the way.<\/p>\n Not roughly, not hard, but with force, so I go sprawling onto the floor. I look up and see a face full of outrage, a splash of yellow and red, and\u2026blue?<\/p>\n A man wearing a silly costume is staring at me. A small man, so a small costume, but one decorated with so many eye-catching colors it\u2019s almost painful to look at. I say almost, because the effect makes him ridiculous, rather than completely annoying. And his face is screwed up with a look of comical outrage.<\/p>\n \u201cBuffoon! Imbecile! <\/em>You think a poor performance like that is worthy of the Blighted King, ruler of all he surveys, terror of the royal banquet, especially the poultry pies? How dare<\/em> you, sir. Poor performances are my business!\u201d<\/p>\n I try to get up, and he kicks my legs out from under me. I roll, and he throws himself on me with a cry of rage.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Get off. Who are\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n There\u2019s a chuckle, a current of mirth through the room. The man stops beating me gently with his fists and gets up, looking indignant. He bows to the Blighted King.<\/p>\n \u201cSire, I beg to show this interloper the true meaning of comedy! A hero\u2019s one thing, but a [Clown]? I\u2019d let a warrior take my place any day with thanks, but there can be only one fool here, and that is I, the Fool!\u201d<\/p>\n He strikes an arrogant pose, managing somehow to bump me over a third time with a hip. For such a small guy, he\u2019s got so much force<\/em> behind him! And it doesn\u2019t hurt when he hits me. Not at all.<\/p>\n The Blighted King doesn\u2019t exactly smile, but his lips do twitch.<\/p>\n \u201cFool. You wish to perform?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbsolutely, Your Majesty! A [Fool] is ten times, nay, a thousand times more pitiful than a [Clown], yet twice his equal, as I shall now prove! Observe my<\/em> juggling, if you would, dear guests of the court!\u201d<\/p>\n His voice is like a stage announcer\u2019s, only he doesn\u2019t need a microphone. The Fool turns, all eyes on him, and flourishes. He produces a colorful ball from somewhere like I did, only this one\u2019s higher quality and shines in the light. He tosses it up\u2014and six more follow it.<\/p>\n Six.<\/em> So seven are in the air at once. I hear a gasp, and then the Fool juggles them into a double weave, his hands moving so quickly I can barely see them. He bumps me again as I try to step back to give him room, and then seems to concentrate.<\/p>\n \u201cLords and ladies, men and women, little girls who are up past their bedtime, this is what a [Fool] does! He juggles, he dances\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool spins around, catching the balls and juggling them as he twirls. He glares at me as he stops, his voice ringing.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd he is the font of dignity, not like some sad [Clown]! How dare<\/em> you, sir!\u201d<\/p>\n He turns away, and then farts<\/em> with a noise that can\u2019t be real. I hear a peal of laughter from the [Princess] and surprised laughs from around the room. But I\u2019m not in a position to laugh myself. The smell<\/em> is real. I stumble backwards, coughing.<\/p>\n \u201cOh god. It stinks.\u201d<\/p>\n And now there\u2019s more laughter. I gag a bit as the Fool who\u2019s also a [Fool] continues juggling, and then turns to me again, full of more fake wrath.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re clearly trying to seek my job! My<\/em> job! What will I do if my King casts me out? I should duel you right now for the dishonor of it! Have at thee!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n And then he starts bouncing the balls off my face as he juggles. The entire hall roars with laughter. I hold still. Contrary to what I\u2019d hoped, the balls are made of rough leather and they hurt quite a bit, since he has to throw them hard enough to bounce back.<\/p>\n \u201cOw. Ow. Ow. Ow. Hey, that was my nose.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to play along with him. He\u2019s an expert. My deadpan commentary makes the young [Princess] nearly fall over in a fit of giggles. The Fool grins widely at me and then turns, catching the last of the balls.<\/p>\n \u201cA [Fool]\u2019s master to none and ridiculed by all, but a [Clown]!? There\u2019s no room for two idiots in Rhir! I challenge you for the top position on the bottom, sir! En garde<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n He catches all the balls, bounces the last one off his left hip into my face, and then charges. Halfway towards me, he stumbles on nothing, slips, and crashes into me, sending both of us to the ground again.<\/p>\n \u201cOw.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool groans loudly, and then gets up, swinging at me and missing. He\u2019s a master. A serious master of comedic timing, and he manages to move about me and take advantage of my presence to make everything funnier. In a few moments I\u2019m lying on top of him, and he\u2019s gasping for life, pulling himself away, and then charging at me with a goblet of wine that he somehow manages to get all over me before slipping in a puddle and knocking himself out on the floor.<\/p>\n The hall roars with laughter by the time he\u2019s done. I\u2019m drenched in wine, bits of food, and the shreds of my dignity. Not that I had any left to begin with.<\/p>\n I wipe a few stinging drops of wine out of my eyes as the [Fool] retreats, still making fists at me. At the head table, the youngest [Princess] is red-faced and nearly in tears with laughter. Even the Blighted King seems happier\u2014although he never laughed once. He gestures towards the Fool with a nod.<\/p>\n \u201cClearly amusing. Fool, you are as always diverting in times of crisis. Thomas the [Clown]\u2026we offer you thanks for the entertainment as well.\u201d<\/p>\n His face says that I\u2019m a freshly squeezed turd that he found on his dinner plate. The Blighted King looks away from me and at Richard and the others. He seems to sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cVery well. We shall ask for a demonstration of your Skills later, Sir Richard, and of you, Lady Emily. Be welcome in our palace until then. We hope you will not betray the hopes we place on you, brave heroes from another world.\u201d<\/p>\n And like that it\u2019s over. The Blighted King motions and I trudge back to my seat with the rest of my group. Conversation resumes, mostly laughter at my expense or speculation as people eye us. The Blighted King turns to his wife and they exchange a few quiet words in their seats.<\/p>\n I sit down, conscious of every eye on me. Cirille gives me an odd look, and then offers me a cloth to wipe my face with. I accept it, get most of the wine off, and notice Richard and the others looking at me. I smile crookedly.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, they\u2019re going to kick us out tomorrow. Maybe tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019m wrong about that. I usually am, which is a relief in this case. Especially to the others. Nereshal doesn\u2019t guide us back to our rooms after the banquet himself; rather, the [Chamberlain] provides us with a few servants to show us the way.<\/p>\n Everyone\u2019s relieved to know we have a roof over our heads for the night. Indeed, separate rooms for all of us, no matter how small, is a luxury we\u2019ve missed the entire winter. Some of the girls look so relieved to have a private space I think they could cry. We guys are obviously too stoic for that, of course.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a lot of chatter about what the Blighted King wants as well. Richard\u2019s room and Emily\u2019s are the largest, so over ten of us end up crammed into there. I listen as they begin talking, arguing, really.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think we can stay here forever?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe you guys can if you get other classes, but I bet he\u2019ll make those of us with combat classes go fight soon enough.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine with that. I just want a break.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think we can get at least a week or two.\u201d<\/p>\n Richard says that firmly, as he sits next to Emily. She\u2019s fiddling with a laptop. It\u2019s not hers. It belonged to a girl who died. I think her name was Rachel?<\/p>\n Reyanne. You don\u2019t remember her face, do you?<\/em><\/p>\n Anyways. The laptop glows with power. Emily\u2019s got it playing a song in the background. I don\u2019t recognize the lyrics\u2014it\u2019s some kind of Spanish song, I think. Rachel\u2014Reyanne had different tastes.<\/p>\n The laptop\u2019s one of our treasures. We don\u2019t have that many electronics between us all. Some were lost when we were attacked. Others were stolen, lost\u2026and we didn\u2019t realize we could [Repair] them until later. Now everyone shares electronics, except for Emily who gets the laptop at all times.<\/p>\n Music, movies\u2026I\u2019ve watched the entire fifth season of Red vs Blue that Eddy had on his Android phone at least sixteen times by now. We all cling to what we have left.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s the iPhone that Richard carries that really matters. He stares at it, speaking out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d rather talk to the others again if I can, no matter how risky it is. But I haven\u2019t gotten a call from [BlackMage] again, and I have no idea how to call him back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan we ask one of the mages here for help? They might know the people at Wistram.\u201d<\/p>\n Cynthia looks desperate. Richard pauses before shaking his head.<\/p>\n \u201cToo risky.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe can\u2019t necessarily trust them. What if they take away the iPhone? No, we\u2019ve got to keep this secret, especially since the Blighted King doesn\u2019t seem to know about the others. If we can get in contact with them, meet up or get help\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA way off this continent, you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n Everyone looks at Vincent. Richard nods.<\/p>\n \u201cI think this is our best opportunity. I was talking with Cirille\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s freakish. Unnatural.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut up, Cynthia. She\u2019s a Drake, <\/em>not a monster.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKeith\u2014listen, she told me we can pay to send [Message] spells, or send letters. I\u2019m not saying we should do that, because we\u2019ll probably be spied on. But if Emily can learn to use the spell, or we can find a way to locate some of the others\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou think we can? What if the Blighted King\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe doesn\u2019t need<\/em> us. Richard and Emily are the only Level 30 people here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but they hit that in three months.<\/em> It takes decades for normal people to do the same. No way he\u2019ll let any of us go now he knows we can level like that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo we\u2019re prisoners?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot if we cooperate. We\u2019re more like allies, but we need to be cautious\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n I sigh. It\u2019s always like this. I can\u2019t be here. I brush at my sticky hair and decide I need a bath, and time alone. I get up and go to the door.<\/p>\n \u201cYou okay, Tom?\u201d<\/p>\n The voices stop. Richard\u2019s looking at me. I smile.<\/p>\n \u201cJust fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat performance back there\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, it was a one time thing. I don\u2019t think the Blighted King cares about me. And I\u2019m done with clowning about.\u201d<\/p>\n No one laughs. Some of them still look afraid of me. I turn.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to take a bath. Let me know if you decide anything tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n I leave the room, hearing the buzz of conversation spring up as I shut the door. My friends.<\/p>\n Are they really? Or do you think they\u2019re talking about you? Hah. You <\/em>know they are. How much do they trust you, Tom? How many more times will they let you wonder before they decide to kill the scary clown before he snaps?<\/em><\/p>\n The voice. I stumble away towards my room. There\u2019s nothing like a private bath there, of course, but there\u2019s a water pitcher, and I\u2019m not willing to go looking around at night. My room is small, but on the level of a hotel in some respects. There\u2019s no window, no balcony, but there is a chamber pot, and a bed that\u2019s worthy of any four-star hotel. That alone makes up for the rest.<\/p>\n I could have done without the mirror, though. There\u2019s a large one above a dresser, another sign that this world has its form of riches. Fabrics are as high-quality as any you\u2019d find in our world, and usually made of real materials rather than fake ones. Okay, plumbing isn\u2019t always consistent, but I know for a fact there are actual toilets elsewhere in the castle, and you can\u2019t beat the craftsmanship on the dressers.<\/p>\n But the mirror. It\u2019s not perfect; there are some flaws in the glass, tiny bubbles, but it reflects too much. I stare at myself. I look thin. I would have killed to lose this much weight before.<\/p>\n You did!<\/em><\/p>\n It shows too much of me. It reminds me of too much. I stare at my reflection. At my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you real?\u201d<\/p>\n No one answers. This mirror\u2026slowly, I pull things out of thin air and put them on the dresser. I might as well. I pull out a greasy tin, another, smaller one, two huge shoes, and a colorful costume.<\/p>\n My props.<\/p>\n I stare at them. Oversized shoes, unfunny costume, and the face paint, white and red and black. Actually, for the black around my eyes I just use ground up charcoal. My tools of the trade.<\/p>\n I leave them there. I won\u2019t touch them again. Ever. I turn away, and then notice something. My costume\u2019s torn.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, right. I never got it fixed. Not since\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Since the night. I gently unfold bits of the bright, clumsily stitched material. Cynthia made that for me, back before I scared her so much she couldn\u2019t sleep with me around. I pull at the sleeves and get a horrible surprise.<\/p>\n Blood. A huge splash of it across the front of the costume, and more dried and soaked into the legs. I drop the costume in horror and back away.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n I never washed it either. And now the voice in my head taunts me.<\/p>\n Afraid of a little blood? Why? You bathed in it when you got angry at those poor Demons. Remember how the lieutenant screamed when the horses were stampeding all over her? Remember the pain?<\/em><\/p>\n My breath comes quicker. I turn.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t stay here. Not in this room. I hurry out the door, but the voice follows me.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n It\u2019s worst at night. At night, I can\u2019t escape it. In the daytime, I can distract myself, or tell myself that it\u2019s just me, just a mental disorder rearing its ugly head.<\/p>\n But at night, the shadows creep in, and I find sleep elusive, peace impossible. So I prowl through the castle, silent, taunted by my own thoughts.<\/p>\n I walk the brightly lit corridors, staring at the lights, trying not to meet the eyes of the occasional patrolling guards I run across down the empty corridors. They stare at me without much fondness.<\/p>\n They know who I am, at least. Hell, they probably saw me the first time when I was being escorted out with the others. Yup, here\u2019s your [Hero], guys and gals. Me. Tom the unfunny [Clown].<\/p>\n Only, you know you can be funny if you try.<\/em><\/p>\n Never. I shake my head as I enter one of the rooms Nereshal showed us earlier. It caught my eye\u2014a room full of mirrors.<\/p>\n Perhaps there is some masochistic part of me, some part that loves to torture myself. But this room is where I come to. Huge, wall-to-wall mirrors cover all but the doorway, reflecting my image a thousand times. I stare around.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright. Here I am. Here you are. Come on. If you\u2019re real\u2026come out.\u201d<\/p>\n I have to do this. I can\u2019t live in uncertainty forever. The voice in my head\u2014I keep telling myself it\u2019s just me. Just me, trying to rationalize my insanity, what I went through.<\/p>\n But what if it\u2019s not?<\/p>\n These are the dark thoughts I have at night, the suspicions I can\u2019t push away without daylight. My fears.<\/p>\n I went insane. I went crazy and killed people. That much the others believe. That I know happened. And I\u2019m sure it was me. Mostly sure. But, the thought whispers, what if it wasn\u2019t<\/em> me?<\/p>\n What if the [Lesser Insanity] condition isn\u2019t some part of me, but something else? The madness\u2014I can remember laughing as I stabbed the Demon lieutenant. I can remember the pain. Gods, the pain.<\/em> But I also remember how I felt.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t me.<\/p>\n But it was.<\/p>\n But it wasn\u2019t. In the darkness, I feel certain. In that moment, when I held Wilen, I didn\u2019t care. I reached out, and let something in. Something dark. Did I open the door somehow?<\/p>\n Did you? Or is it just you? Are you holding me back? Or am I just an excuse, Tom?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cGo away.\u201d<\/p>\n I stare at the mirror ahead of me. There\u2019s a feeling in my head, a bit of madness. I can feel it worming its way around. I know the mirror is just a reflection of me. It shows my clothing, stained, and my face, tired, my eyes a bit bloodshot. Me in perfect detail. I know that\u2019s all it is.<\/p>\n But something tells me that\u2019s not all. Something tells me there\u2019s something else<\/em> staring back behind the glass. What?<\/p>\n \u201cWho are you?\u201d<\/p>\n Who are you?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI know you\u2019re there. I can feel you. Hear you. My shadows move when I don\u2019t look. My eyes\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Normal eyes. But if I look away, do they keep staring? I try it. Turning my head and looking back quickly. But the mirror me reflects perfectly each time. I grit my teeth.<\/p>\n \u201cMove, damn you. If you\u2019re going to play tricks on me\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n I reach out and touch the glass. I stare into my reflection\u2019s eyes, daring it to move, to twitch even a second. Tom stares back, pallid, sleep-deprived, wide-eyed. He grins at me.<\/p>\n I stop smiling. So does my reflection. Damn it, it\u2019s all in my head.<\/p>\n All? Are you sure?<\/em><\/p>\n It has to be. I take my hand away, noting with guilt that I\u2019ve smudged the mirror. I try to polish it, but just spread the oils from my palm around.<\/p>\n \u201cI hate you. If you\u2019re there, I\u2019ll kill you. I swear it.\u201d<\/p>\n You? You and what madness?<\/em><\/p>\n Laughter. The voice isn\u2019t the worst. The voice sounds like me at times, a bit crazy, darker, but still what I\u2019d think. The voice only scares me at times. But it\u2019s when I <\/em>feel like laughing, like punching the glass until my hand is full of shards, that I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n It would be so easy. So easy to push the glass deep. What would it feel like if it hit bone? I make a fist, staring at my stupid expression. My eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I expected to be alone, but I suppose I was a fool for thinking that. More proof that I\u2019m good at my job, then.\u201d<\/p>\n A voice. I whirl, and see a short man in colorful clothing. The Fool. He walks into the room with a brisk step. He\u2019s got a bottle in hand and a cup. He nods at me, not smiling, but not frowning, either.<\/p>\n \u201cMister [Clown]. I didn\u2019t think to see you tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh. You\u2019re\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n He puts the bottle and cup on the ground and gives me a dramatic bow.<\/p>\n \u201cA [Fool], at your service, sir. And you may call me Fool\u2014everyone else does. I perform at the Blighted King\u2019s court. I hope you didn\u2019t take too much offense at my little performance?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? No. I\u2014it bailed me out. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe funny men should stick together. Only, you\u2019re fairly un<\/em>funny as such people go. Are you truly a [Clown], Mister\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh. Sorry. I\u2019m Tom. Thomas, but you can call me Tom.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool takes my hand and shakes it with a surprisingly firm grip. He\u2019s not nearly as dramatic as he was in the banquet hall earlier, but there\u2019s still a sense of performing as he indicates the mirror behind me.<\/p>\n \u201cCome to admire yourself in the room of mirrors? It\u2019s a rare person who likes to spend time here. I confess, that\u2019s why I came alone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry about that. I can leave if you want\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNonsense. There\u2019s more than enough space for two idiots, or at least one [Fool] and a [Clown]. Besides, company is pleasant, and if you\u2019ve a mind to share it, I wouldn\u2019t take it amiss. I\u2019m never alone here as you can tell.\u201d<\/p>\n He nods to his reflections. I smile a bit.<\/p>\n \u201cSure. What are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDrinking. Of course! A bottle of wine, a cup\u2026would you like one?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA cup? Sure, but if there\u2019s only one\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n He hands me a second cup, already filled with wine. I stare at it and blink at him. The Fool grins.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n Gingerly I sip at the cup. Then I frown. I tilt the cup towards my lips, but no liquid comes out. I can see it, red and deep in the cup! I tilt it further, and then on a hunch, upend the cup. Nothing comes out. I stare at the Fool and he grins.<\/p>\n \u201cA little trick. I apologize, but the joke\u2019s only good once, so I do it to everyone I meet. That\u2019s a fake cup, you see?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI do. But how do you get the liquid\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I copied this cup, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool hands me a second cup, identical to the first, only the wine sloshes about in this one. He takes the first cup back and tosses it to the ground. It breaks into pieces which dissolve into nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a Skill of mine, to copy things. They last a while too, if handled gently. Good for pranks and trickery. Not for much else. But then, you\u2019d know about such Skills, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose I would. I am a [Clown], by the way. Just a bad one. I\u2019m only Level 28.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool\u2019s eyebrows rise.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd yet you had no levels when you first came here. I\u2019d say that\u2019s astonishing by any standards. A shame you can\u2019t perform as well. Your juggling act was painful to watch.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n He claps me on the back. I slosh some of the wine.<\/p>\n \u201cNonsense! Again, nonsense, so I suppose it must be tomfoolery! Stop apologizing and don\u2019t mind the spill. Servants will catch it. If not, bugs. What you need is practice. A week or so and you\u2019ll have the court rolling at your feet. Who knows, you might get His Dour Majesty to smile!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean the Blighted King? I\u2019ll pass. I\u2019m done with being a [Clown].\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh. Not much of a warrior you said?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot much. Sorry. I\u2014I guess you know all about us.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool shrugs. He takes a sip from the wine bottle, letting it slosh into his mouth from high above. He<\/em> doesn\u2019t spill a drop, which is impressive.<\/p>\n \u201cThe whole court knows, I daresay, and much of the kingdom. We had such hopes. Alas, prophecy is not what it\u2019s rumored to be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout that. Are we really the destined heroes that are supposed to save Rhir from the blight and the Demon King? No one\u2019s really mentioned that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, that\u2019s what the spell says. Summons heroes destined to glory and all that. I don\u2019t know much about it, but the Blighted King and his advisors seemed to think that meant you were fairly competent.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHah.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought! But I was wise enough not to make a joke about it. How His Majesty raged when he heard of what happened to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Somehow, I find myself sitting with the Fool, drinking from my cup as he fills it and drinks himself. He tells me about the Blighted King and his role at court.<\/p>\n \u201cOne must have a [Fool]. Actually, I lie. One mustn\u2019t at all, even if one is a [King]. My class is rare enough, and there\u2019s scant work for a [Fool] in hungry villages. I was lucky enough to catch His Majesty\u2019s eye one day, and I have served here for over a decade.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA decade? Really? Wow. I thought [Fools] were supposed to be part of a court. Like it was a hereditary thing, or something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHah! Fools breeding more fools! What a world that would be! I\u2019m afraid that Rhir, at least, doesn\u2019t see the need for a line of my ilk. Although if I met a lovely lady\u2026alas, they go for heroes of the realm, not idiots juggling balls.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d think the more balls the merrier, right?\u201d<\/p>\n He chokes on his wine, coughs, and laughs.<\/p>\n \u201cSo Tom the [Clown] has a joke in him after all! A bit crass, though. I wouldn\u2019t dare repeat it at court.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh come on. It\u2019s funny.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool grows serious.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but it wouldn\u2019t be appropriate for the young [Princess]. You noted her at the table, I hope. Her and the other [Princess], of course. They are our King\u2019s daughters.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI saw. She looks young.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s the daughter of the current Blighted Queen. Alas, her sister, whom we call Her Highness Isodore, is the daughter of the previous Blighted Queen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo there\u2019s been more than one?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou hadn\u2019t heard? Of course not. Yes, there have been two Blighted Queens. Three, if you count the one who died before marriage. The Blighted King has seen his wives die one by one during his reign.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2026sucks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAn understatement, which is why I am so sorely needed at his court. Not that the Blighted King laughs, mind you. But I keep the [Princess] and others amused, so I earn my keep. I also endeavor to stay away from lewd jokes or more intimate comedy unless I know she\u2019s asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s nice of you.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool shakes his head. He smiles sadly.<\/p>\n \u201cThe [Princess] has a hard life without me adding to it, Mister Tom.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust Tom, please.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery well. I\u2019m surprised, to be honest, that you took a class so odd as a [Clown]. What do you do, exactly, if it\u2019s not make people laugh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMake them feel uncomfortable, I suppose. And laugh at how weird I am.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike a [Fool]! But surely there\u2019s more of a difference. What makes a [Clown] different from a [Fool]?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI dunno. Face paint? I wear oversized shoes, have a big red nose, use balloons\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh\u2014it\u2019s a round floaty thing.\u201d<\/p>\n He stares at me. I shrug. I\u2019m pleasantly sloshed by now and feeling\u2026decent for once. I try describing it to him and he shakes his head.<\/p>\n \u201cLoud, noisy, and can fly? I\u2019d use one myself if I had such a thing. I make do with throwing squirrels and cats in the meantime. But surely there\u2019s more to it than that.\u201d<\/p>\n I sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know. Clowns come in all different shapes and sizes. I guess [Fools] are like that too. For instance, I don\u2019t see you wearing a jingling cap with bells.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a requirement for being a [Fool]?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, that\u2019s what I think of. Why don\u2019t you have one of those?\u201d<\/p>\n He gives me a look.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a [Fool], not an idiot. There are times when a Fool should be seen and not heard, or not seen or heard at all. Were I to go around dinging like some bell, I\u2019d be evicted from the royal presence within the hour.\u201d<\/p>\n He paused.<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps the day if the youngest [Princess] were to object.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe really likes you, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m her sole form of entertainment on some days, and it can be dreary being locked up in the palace. She never enters the city without an escort and seldom at that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy? Is it so dangerous here? I thought the capital\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n He waves a hand and refills my goblet.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, it\u2019s safer than any other part of Rhir and safe for all but royalty I imagine. Yet the [Princess] must be careful, or she\u2019ll end up like her brothers and sisters.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought she only had a sister. Or\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe had<\/em> others.\u201d<\/p>\n Like an idiot, I stare at the Fool blankly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to them, then? Where are they?\u201d<\/p>\n His voice is flat.<\/p>\n \u201cDead.\u201d<\/p>\n I sober up a bit.<\/p>\n \u201cOh. I\u2019m s\u2014I thought it was a family of four\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe majesties royal had a household of seven<\/em>, once, unfunny Tom. Two older sons and another daughter three years older than the young [Princess]. All of them died. The brothers in battle, and the daughter in bed. A plague, sent by the Demons it was thought. Assassins killed the last Queen, and the one before that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool nods. He isn\u2019t smiling now. He stares at his reflection in one of the mirrors.<\/p>\n \u201cNow the [Princess] and Her Young Highness Isodore are watched like sheep by lions, while their father and mother strive to make their kingdom safe for all but their enemies. A touching tale, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n I nod and sip from his wine flask. Did one of the mirror images of me just wink? Nope. Just my imagination. Again.<\/p>\n \u201cFor a [Fool], you\u2019re awfully well-informed. And you seem important.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShouldn\u2019t I be? I am a royal jester, a prince of laughter. Shouldn\u2019t I be known and heard, but never minded in court? I can walk around and people talk as if I don\u2019t exist. Which I don\u2019t mind, incidentally.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool gets up and does a cartwheel, laughing, half in mirth, half in a kind of despair I recognize. He turns to me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re no [Clown] you say, but if you\u2019re not that, what are you? In denial, I should imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no\u2014you wouldn\u2019t like to see me when I\u2019m a [Clown]. Really.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow should I see you, then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust as Tom. Tom the unfunny, who could use a refill of your wine, if you\u2019ve got any left, Fool. I don\u2019t suppose you can copy the wine bottle? Or do you have access to more wine we could find?\u201d<\/p>\n He stares at me, a smile tugging at his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t believe I\u2019ve ever met a person who wanted to befriend me, Tom. Are you that bored, or am I that good company?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNeither. But us unfunny people should stick together, right?\u201d<\/p>\n I grin at him and feel happy for a tiny bit. The Fool blinks at me, and then laughs. Of all the people I\u2019ve met today, his laughter is the only one I\u2019ve needed. And it heals something. That night I pass out in my room, drunk, but sane.<\/p>\n And a bit happy.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n The next day, I\u2019m too hung over to have breakfast, and barely have lunch with the others. I keep rubbing my head and groaning, and when they decide to go out to explore the city, I beg off.<\/p>\n \u201cGod, Tom. How much did you drink last night?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd where can I get some?\u201d<\/p>\n Emily glares at me while Eddy edges over. I shake my head.<\/p>\n \u201cAsk the Fool.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHim? Where\u2019d you meet him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe raided the kitchens. There\u2019s a lot. Good\u2026ow, my head hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think Tom\u2019s going to rest. Alright, let\u2019s go the rest of you. We have a budget, remember, but we\u2019ll make sure everyone has some coin. Tom, can you give us the money if you\u2019re staying behind?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure. Here.\u201d<\/p>\n I toss the pouch at Richard and stumble away to my room. After two more hours, I feel able to function normally, so I finally get up and stumble out of the palace.<\/p>\n I get lost six times along the way. The corridors are a complete maze to me, and they\u2019re apparently meant to be that way. No invading army can enter that easily. Unfortunately, that means I have to bother person after person to find my way out.<\/p>\n I get all the way to the courtyard when I realize I have no money, no real desire to see the sights, and no idea why I\u2019m here. I stare glumly around the huge open area leading up to the castle.<\/p>\n \u201cMan, this place is big.\u201d<\/p>\n You could march an army through here. Heck, that\u2019s probably the point. There are three gates leading into the courtyard, which head up to the double doors after a flight of steps. The wall around the courtyard is high, but the space itself is so big that it doesn\u2019t feel enclosed at all.<\/p>\n It\u2019s quite nice, actually. There\u2019s a fountain and lots of water over there, some greenery over there, very nice stonework underfoot\u2026and that\u2019s all I\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n You really need a hobby. Like stabbing people.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cShush. I was in a good mood before you showed up.\u201d<\/p>\n You should turn around. Someone\u2019s standing behind you.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI said shush.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan you really not do anything but juggle? Father says you have hidden depths.\u201d<\/p>\n That voice is real. I nearly jump out of my skin as I whirl around. A young girl wearing a violet dress takes a step back. She stares up at me. I blink down at the youngest [Princess] of the Blighted Kingdom.<\/p>\n \u201cUh. What?\u201d<\/p>\n She stares at me. I stare back. She points at my chest.<\/p>\n \u201cCan you do a backflip? The Fool can.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? I\u2014probably not, Your Highness.\u201d<\/p>\n I probably can, actually. If it\u2019s part of my [Flawless Dodge] routine or\u2026heck, I learned how to do an okay cartwheel. But I\u2019m not certain why the [Princess] is here, and I\u2019m busy looking around for the guards that should<\/em> be around her.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no one in the courtyard. The [Princess] stares at me and speaks matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you don\u2019t know how, the Fool can teach you. He wouldn\u2019t teach me, but he could teach you and I could watch.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay? If I see him, I\u2019ll ask.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s over there. You can ask now.\u201d<\/p>\n She points. I turn around. Now how did I miss the Fool? Oh, right. He\u2019s not wearing his eye-catching costume.<\/p>\n A little man wearing nondescript clothing is standing about sixty feet away, walking about the courtyard absentmindedly. He has something in his hands. It looks like\u2026a scroll.<\/p>\n He\u2019s speaking to the air with the scroll unfurled. The [Princess] and I stare at him. Then she looks at me.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to ask or not?\u201d<\/p>\n She\u2019s pushy. <\/em>I step over to the Fool, more because I have nothing else to do than any desire to do backflips. He spots us as we approach and rolls up his scroll. He stares at me and then the [Princess] with a furrowed brow.<\/p>\n \u201cI knew we had fun last night, but this much? And what are you doing in the company of the Princess, Mister Tom?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe appeared out of nowhere. She wants me to ask you to teach her how to do backflips?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool\u2019s eyes widen and he does a standing backflip, pretending to be aghast. The [Princess] claps her hands together, laughing. The Fool obliges her, and then peers at me.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m surprised she spoke to you. Our little Princess speaks to few people.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s funny. So are you.\u201d<\/p>\n The Princess informs the Fool in the same decisive voice. He raises his eyebrows at her, and then turns to me.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, that\u2019s interesting. I suppose you\u2019d better entertain her yourself, Mister Tom. Go on, do a backflip.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? No! I\u2019ve never done one before.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not hard. Go on. If you break your neck, it\u2019ll be twice as amusing, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n I back up and raise my hands as the two pester me. In desperation, I point to the scroll the Fool tucked into his belt.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that about? Were you talking to someone?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a magic scroll. For talking to people.\u201d<\/p>\n The [Princess] peeks at the Fool\u2019s belt. He dances back, and wags a finger at her.<\/p>\n \u201cAh, ah! That\u2019s mine, [Princess]. And as for who I was talking to\u2026would you believe the love of my heart?\u201d<\/p>\n He looks at us hopefully. I stare at him. The Fool scowls and bounces one of his juggling balls off my head. The [Princess] giggles. Then the Fool looks at her. There\u2019s something parental about the way he does it.<\/p>\n \u201cAs delighted as I am to see you, you and I both know you shouldn\u2019t be out here alone, young Miss. Why have you wandered off?\u201d<\/p>\n The young girl immediately loses her smile. She scuffs at the ground with a shoe.<\/p>\n \u201cFather sent the soldiers away. All of them. I don\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool stiffens. I look at him, confused.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n He looks gravely at me.<\/p>\n \u201cThat was a secret, my inquisitive friend. A state secret, so pretend you didn\u2019t hear it if you know what\u2019s best. Your Highness, you know you shouldn\u2019t speak of such things. I understand you\u2019re worried, but all will be well.\u201d<\/p>\n She doesn\u2019t look convinced. I don\u2019t know what the hell\u2019s going on, so I draw the Fool away. He tosses her one of his juggling balls to keep her company as he whispers in my ear.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat the young Princess is referring to is a strategic decision the [King] came up with two days ago. With the exception of a few foreign regiments and the King\u2019s own guard, every soldier has been deployed to the Fourth Wall. In preparation for an upcoming battle.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSounds serious.\u201d<\/p>\n He grimaces.<\/p>\n \u201cNo more than any battle is in Rhir. But it is a tactical decision. And one that cannot be shared, you understand? No one knows about this, save for the King and his advisors. And me, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause of her.\u201d<\/p>\n He nods at the Princess.<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool\u2019s eyes are sad as he looks at the young girl. She\u2019s dropped the ball and bends down to get it. Then she catches herself and does some kind of curtsey instead. She snatches the ball back up, and begins tossing it up again.<\/p>\n \u201cIf she says something, Mister Tom, it\u2019s because she\u2019s worried. The [Princess] understands war, I\u2019m afraid. And His Majesty, the wise and tragic King of the Blighted Kingdom\u2026does not understand how much his children hear, I am afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cQuite. Now, do help me get her back to the castle.\u201d<\/p>\n He leads me back, pretending to scold me out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cI keep telling you, broken bones are a sign of comedy, young Tom. We\u2019ll make a proper [Fool] of you yet. If not that, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be a fine [Idiot]. And you should not be wandering around unattended, Your Royal Highness.\u201d<\/p>\n He pretends to be stern. The [Princess] frowns and stamps a foot.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like my guards. I left them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd it is a fine joke to leave an escort of trained warriors behind by yourself. But I see someone\u2019s not amused by your tricks.\u201d<\/p>\n He turns and points. I turn. How do I not see people coming up from behind? Now I see another young woman, the same one who was sitting by the Blighted King yesterday.<\/p>\n \u201cYour Highness.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool bows to Princess Isodore. I do too, clumsily. She stares at me and the Fool, giving me a frown, the Fool an exasperated look, and the young Princess a stern one.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere have you been? Your guards are searching for you in a panic. Nereshal was about to scry around for you!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe can\u2019t scry me if I\u2019m wearing this!\u201d<\/p>\n The young Princess raises a ring triumphantly. She\u2019s wearing two. Isodore glares at her half-sister.<\/p>\n \u201cHe can comb the area, and he will if you don\u2019t come back. And if he does, he\u2019ll be angry and Father will know about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to go back! I want to learn to backflip!\u201d<\/p>\n The [Princess] hides behind the Fool and me like any kid her age. Only she\u2019s royalty and Isodore\u2019s not alone. A group of men and women in armor rush out of the open palace doors after Isodore. I gulp, and Isodore glares at her sister.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on. You have to go back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI will go with Her Highness, if she wishes.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool interjects, and the [Princess] brightens. But Isodore holds up a hand.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Fool, but my sister can\u2019t be hand-held the entire time. Nor will your presence calm Nereshal. I think it would make things worse, to be honest. Come, Erille. Do you want to get the Fool in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n Reluctantly, Princess Erille comes out from behind the Fool. She stares longingly at me and him, and Isodore gives us another look. She stares at me for a second with a look I recognize.<\/p>\n \u201cYou will excuse me, Sir Thomas. And you, Fool. Come, Erille.\u201d<\/p>\n The two Princesses turn and meet up with their escort, who surround them in a second. I watch them walk slowly back to the palace and turn to the Fool. He\u2019s still staring at Erille\u2019s back. Sadly. At last he shakes himself and looks at me.<\/p>\n \u201cIsodore doesn\u2019t seem to like you, Sir Thomas.\u201d<\/p>\n He says the name mockingly. I sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cShe saw us when we were first here, I bet. She probably thinks I\u2019m a fraud.\u201d<\/p>\n The Fool nods.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, the whole kingdom did. I daresay that my role was made useless for a fortnight after you arrived. So many jokes were told\u2014one merely had to wave around a Goblin\u2019s head for the courtiers to roll around laughing!\u201d<\/p>\n Then he pauses.<\/p>\n \u201cBut I suppose there might be more to it than disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n He looks at me, cocking his head to one side, standing on one leg, seemingly back to his good spirits or pretending to be at least.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were abed and I was out and about, performing at breakfast, so you must have missed today\u2019s gossip. It was about you. You claim to be naught but a former [Clown], but there have been rumors this morning about you, Tom.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh no. Really?\u201d<\/p>\n I can\u2019t imagine who started the rumors. But maybe Emily, or Cynthia, or Eddy, that bastard? It\u2019s possible\u2026the Fool nods.<\/p>\n \u201cThe court and His Majesty have heard you\u2019re more than you seemed, Mister Unfunny Tom. I hear you can be quite amusing. And deadly. Her Highness may have heard the same.\u201d<\/p>\n He turns back to look at Isodore and Erille. They\u2019re still walking across the courtyard. Man, is it big. And they can\u2019t exactly move fast in their ballroom-style dresses.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t mind her. She fears so many; one more is hardly her fault. As for Erille\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n He trails as he stares at the young Princess. She\u2019s happily occupied as she tosses the ball the Fool gave her up and tries to catch it before it lands. She never gave it back, and I don\u2019t think the Fool would ever ask.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not hard to imagine what\u2019s there. A Fool who\u2019s more friend and father than her actual father, and a kid trapped in a castle. And the other Princess\u2014Isodore looks back and then turns instantly when she sees me staring at her.<\/p>\n I look away.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m no one, Fool. No one special.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo you say, Tom.\u201d<\/p>\n He leaves me there, and I wander back towards the palace, feeling disconsolate. But I realize something as I walk through the corridors. Something interesting. And maybe hopeful.<\/p>\n Whenever I\u2019m with the Fool, I can\u2019t hear the voice in my head. I don\u2019t know why that is. Maybe he\u2019s just that entertaining, or just that nice a guy that I don\u2019t want to kill him. Or maybe it\u2019s something else?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n That night we have another banquet. And for once, I\u2019m feeling good enough to eat a lot. We sit with the Drakes again, but there\u2019s more of a sense of inclusion this time. We are, at least in some respects now, guests, and aside from a lot of bad jokes aimed at me, everything\u2019s great.<\/p>\n Which isn\u2019t to say there aren\u2019t more tests. This time, it\u2019s Richard and Emily\u2019s turn, but they at least seem up to the task. Emily performs several spells in front of the court, raising a wave of water out of the ground, creating a perfect sphere that she rolls across the floor. I can tell Princess Erille would love to chase after it, but she\u2019s stuck at the high table.<\/p>\n Then it\u2019s Richard\u2019s turn. Today, I get more of a sense of who sits in the Blighted King\u2019s castle. Among the more important guests who sit closer to the head of the hall are groups of what I can only call the Blighted King\u2019s champions. Rugged men, women, and representatives of other species, most wearing shining armor, magical equipment, and holding an air of power around them.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a Minotaur with black fur, a half-Elf man with a staff that stands on its own when he\u2019s not holding it, a pale Selphid with two greatswords resting by his table, and a whole bevy of [Knights] and warriors who look like they\u2019d fit in any grand story of knights and honor.<\/p>\n They\u2019re all high-level, and as the feast begins, several of them get up to engage in duels. They use real armor, but wooden weapons, and they strike, parry, block, and dodge like the coolest movie action scene I\u2019ve ever seen.<\/p>\n Cooler, because they move faster than an actor does with choreographed moves. I see one warrior wearing chainmail leap over<\/em> a woman with a wooden spear and slash at her head. Too bad that the instant his feet touch the ground, the spear warrior vaults over to him with the spear as a pole and kicks his lights out.<\/p>\n Richard is called to spar the spear wielder after that. I hear my friends cheering as he gets up, wiping his hands and taking the practice sword offered to him. The spear wielder touches her blunt spear tip against the wooden sword and then begins dashing at Richard, spear jabbing at him in a blur. She whirls her spear and it lashes Richard from all sides, a hail of lightning-fast blows.<\/p>\n \u201cHoly crap.\u201d<\/p>\n I can\u2019t believe Richard can defend against any of that, but he actually manages to parry several strikes and attack back. He ends up defeated, but he does so well, apparently, that there\u2019s a round of applause for him afterwards.<\/p>\n I see Richard stagger back as the spear wielder offers him a hand up. The old woman claps him on the shoulders and leads him towards the table with the other champions to cheers from my table. I watch Richard talking with the others with a familiar camaraderie.<\/p>\n Jealous?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cNo. Richard deserves that. He fought hard and earned it.\u201d<\/p>\n I hear a mocking laugh in my head, but someone replies out loud as well.<\/p>\n \u201cSir Richard is a skilled warrior, worthy of his [Knight] class. Since he has reached Level 30, he is considered a peer of the realm in many respects. All those with a level higher than 30 are honored in various ways by the crown.\u201d<\/p>\n I find a man standing at my side, holding a goblet of wine and looking politely at me. He looks\u2026familiar. He has dark skin, a scar over his temple, and the look of someone who knows how to use a weapon. He nods at me.<\/p>\n \u201cSir Thomas. I am pleased to meet you. I missed the chance this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUm. Hi.\u201d<\/p>\n He speaks as if we should know each other. He looks towards the next duel, between a [Mage] and a man with a bow who keeps shooting at the shimmering field around the mage as he dodges.<\/p>\n \u201cSuch displays are common. Rhir has a number of tournaments hosted year round, and offers coin to anyone willing to teach or display their skills from around the world. Martial prowess is prized here above all else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you\u2019re at war, I guess that\u2019s how it has to be, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n I look toward the Blighted King.<\/p>\n \u201cCan he fight? The King?\u201d<\/p>\n The man shakes his head.<\/p>\n \u201cHis Majesty is not known for his abilities on the field of battle, which is not to say he does not appear there if the need is dire. On the other hand, Her Majesty is at least as skilled a warrior as they are. She was known for her prowess with a mace before she married the King.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n She looks like someone who knows how to fight. On cue, I hear a voice.<\/p>\n I wonder if she could block you if you stabbed her up close. What if you held her daughter hostage?<\/em><\/p>\n I shake my head slightly. The man notices.<\/p>\n \u201cShe is quite a fine warrior, as is your friend. He deserves his spot among the King\u2019s champions. However, I deem your skills as equal to theirs in at least some respects, Sir Thomas.\u201d<\/p>\n I stare at him.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but have we met? I don\u2019t recall.\u201d<\/p>\n He smiles slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cI would not begrudge you that. I had the honor of meeting you in the village of Rastfad, shortly after your defeat of\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Of the Demons. He was one of the people who saw me after I slaughtered them. I remember. I stare at the man.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you\u2014were you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n He bows slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cCaptain Kirust, at your service. I returned to the capital last night, but was too late to participate in the feast. I attended this morning and was delighted to find your company well, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHang on, you\u2019re<\/em> the one who\u2019s been spreading rumors about me? Stop it. Please. I\u2019m not a warrior.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI would beg to disagree, sir. I saw what you did to defend the villagers, and I cannot believe such a man would be lesser to any [Knight] of the realm.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2014no. That was one thing. I went crazy back then. You saw me laughing, covered in blood.\u201d<\/p>\n He stares at me. I feel the ground breaking away under my feet. Unsteady. Someone\u2019s laughing in my head.<\/p>\n They love you for what you are, Tom. Embrace it. They love you. You, the slaughterer. They cheered you after you laughed among the dead.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cSir Thomas, I spoke to His Majesty today and spoke highly of your abilities. I do not mean to force you to fight, but you should at least be awarded the accolades of your true merits.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want that. I don\u2019t want that at all.\u201d<\/p>\n He looks confused.<\/p>\n \u201cBut Sir Thomas\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop calling me that. Just call me\u2014Tom. I\u2019m no warrior, get it? I don\u2019t ever want to do that again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot even if there are more innocents at risk?\u201d<\/p>\n His eyes are steady on mine. I hear a buzzing in my ears.<\/p>\n \u201cI arrived too late to save the people. From what I understand, your comrades fled. But you stayed and fought, and defeated over thirty<\/em> trained Demon warriors and a Troll<\/em>\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t want to! I\u2019m not proud of it! Don\u2019t celebrate me for being a murderer!\u201d<\/p>\n My voice is raised. I turn to leave, but Kirust\u2019s eyes are on me. His voice is in my ears, and the laughter.<\/p>\n \u201cSir Thomas, the kingdom has warriors, but it has few heroes. A man such as yourself\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n A hero. I turn and grab Kirust and lift him up. I\u2019ve always been strong. The [Captain] stares at me, alarmed, fear in his eyes as I draw him close with a snarl. That\u2019s right. That\u2019s the fear. That\u2019s honest.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not a warrior! I told you that! I didn\u2019t want <\/em>to kill them! I\u2019d rather die than do it again! I won\u2019t lose control, I won\u2019t give in! Not now, not ever, no matter what the cost! I\u2019m not a hero, do you understand?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n I realize I\u2019m shouting too late. I let go of Kirust and look around. Everyone\u2019s staring at me. I stumble away from the [Captain] and hurry out of the feast hall.<\/p>\n Madness.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I stay in my room for hours after that, staring into the mirror. I throw the bloody clown suit to the floor, and begin pulling everything out of the trick space. My juggling balls, juggling pins, a dead flower, a few coins, and\u2014knives.<\/p>\n I stare at them. I picked up one or two after that night. For self-defense. I had<\/em> a bunch of swords, but I couldn\u2019t keep them there. Swords, knives, arrows\u2014I can remember pulling them out of the hands of the other soldiers, stabbing people with them, laughing.<\/em><\/p>\n Good times.<\/em><\/p>\n One of the knives is sharp, the other one sharper, but that\u2019s a kitchen knife. It\u2019s not meant for combat, although it can certainly be used as such. I pick up one of the knives and feel it. Perfectly weighted, great for throwing. Another one\u2019s unbalanced, because it\u2019s not meant for that.<\/p>\n But if I throw it\u2014I toss the knife gingerly towards a wall. It rotates through the air and strikes the wall. Hilt-first.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, [Unerring Throw] doesn\u2019t mean everything.\u201d<\/p>\n I pick the knife up, and flip it in my hands. I catch it by the hilt easily. I\u2019m not worried about cutting myself. The first Skill, the only Skill I got from my [Hero] class was [Weapon Proficiency: Knives].<\/p>\n \u201cSo why can\u2019t I throw them correctly? Not enough rotation? Enough force?\u201d<\/p>\n I guess proficiency with knives doesn\u2019t mean I can throw them like a master. Still, I can do a lot of tricks with them. [Sleight of Hand] combined with my proficiency means I can practically walk my knife across my hand.<\/p>\n And flip it into the air and catch it without getting cut. I do it with my eyes closed, and then play the knife game. I tap the tip between my fingers on the dresser rapidly, then spin it up again. Catch it.<\/p>\n It would be so easy to just let it fall and cut my hand off. Or stand in front of the blade. I grab the knife out of the air when I think that and stare at it. Then the door opens.<\/p>\n \u201cTom? We wanted to see if you were okay\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n A voice. I turn. Chole pushes open the door to my room. She stops when she sees me, holding the knife, staring at her. I realize what it looks like too late. I take a step towards her and make the mistake of gesturing with the blade.<\/p>\n \u201cUh, look. I know\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n She screams and runs. I curse and put the knife up my sleeve, making it vanish. Why<\/em> do I have such bad timing?<\/p>\n In seconds, other people appear around the door. I hold up a hand.<\/p>\n \u201cNothing crazy. Just practicing knife throwing, guys.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight. Right.\u201d<\/p>\n They nod and grin at me. Sick, pale excuses for grins. I look at them. They shut the door. I stand in the darkness.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019m going crazy. I am. I walk down the corridors of the palace, feeling it in my veins. It\u2019s getting worse. I can\u2019t control it anymore.<\/p>\n And worse, at the moment I can\u2019t hear the voice. Normally that would be a good sign. Now I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n Why was I playing with a knife? Why did I want<\/em> to stand under the blade? Why did I shout at Kirust? Why, why, why\u2014<\/p>\n I\u2019m losing it. I turn down another brightly lit corridor, scowling at the mage lights. I hate the brightness. But maybe it\u2019s a good thing it\u2019s bright. At least I can\u2019t imagine things in the\u2014<\/p>\n Shadows.<\/em><\/p>\n I stop. I don\u2019t know where I am, but I suddenly see something at odds with the brightly lit passageways behind me. Ahead, there are no mage lights. Only blackness. Thick and consuming.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? What\u2019s\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n I look over my shoulder. A shining light hangs in the hallway behind me. Ahead of me\u2026darkness. No light.<\/p>\n I feel a chill. What\u2019s this? This is like a bad\u2014bad horror movie. Or something else. I look at the light behind me again. And then ahead.<\/p>\n \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n The darkness\u2026calls to me. I take a step forwards. Where are the mage lights? They have to be here. They said\u2014<\/p>\n This is it. I\u2019ve gone insane. Or this is real. I reach out and my hand is suddenly grasping a knife.<\/p>\n Darkness. It can\u2019t be a coincidence. In a castle where the light is supposed to be on all the time? I feel a presence. And I know.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is it, isn\u2019t it? You\u2019re here. You\u2019re messing with me. It isn\u2019t just me. Is it?\u201d<\/p>\n No response. I take a step forwards, hesitate. Every instinct tells me I should back away from the darkness. But why? I have nothing to lose. And if I turn away, I\u2019ll always wonder if I was going crazy or not.<\/p>\n If I die, at least I\u2019ll know. I hold my knife at the ready.<\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t run. Not this time. I\u2019m coming for you, do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n My voice is loud, but still sucked up by some kind of unnatural silence. I walk forwards. Now I can barely see anything. But I can hear\u2026something.<\/p>\n Whispering. Footfalls. I turn my head. Nothing\u2019s there. The voice in my head is gone.<\/p>\n I feel something is nearby.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you\u2019re there. Come on.\u201d<\/p>\n A movement. I spin. Just the darkness. I really am losing it.<\/p>\n It\u2019s in my head. It\u2019s right here. I\u2019m going insane. This is reality. The darkness closes in, and then I think I see a light. I feel my way down a corridor. Yes, there\u2019s something ahead of me.<\/p>\n Is this it? Suddenly, I see a bright light and realize I\u2019m an idiot. One of the mage lights just went out! And I thought\u2026I thought\u2026<\/p>\n I\u2019m losing it. But then I walk forwards a bit more and realize it\u2019s not a mage light ahead. Instead, I see an advancing ghostly blue flame. A\u2026lantern\u2019s light. Yes, ahead of me. Moving.<\/p>\n Dark. A flicker of movement. My heart races. There is<\/em> something here. Something\u2014<\/p>\n Him. Me.<\/p>\n Then I step closer, and see what\u2019s holding the light. The figure turns, and the lantern swings. I see a face like leather, two horns curving downwards, bright green eyes\u2014<\/p>\n A Demon soldier stands with lantern in hand, a bloody sword in the other. I stop, staring. He stares back. And behind him, I see a man with his back against the wall, next to an ornate door. He sees me at the same time I see him.<\/p>\n \u201cFool?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n He half turns towards me and I see his eyes widening. He shouts.<\/p>\n \u201cGet away, Tom! Warn the others! There are Demons\u2014<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n The Demon soldier whirls around. He raises his sword with a snarl and the Fool raises his hands. The Demon strikes low.<\/p>\n He slashes the Fool\u2019s belly open, pulling out a chunk of his insides. The Fool gasps, grips onto the Demon as if to hold him there. The masked Demon lowers him, almost gently, to the floor, and turns towards me. His horns flash in the light of the lantern he\u2019s holding.<\/p>\n I back away. This is a nightmare. Only, it\u2019s not one I thought would be here. My hand rises, it shakes as I hold the knife in front of me. And now I hear the voice.<\/p>\n Kill him. You know you want to.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cStay back!\u201d<\/p>\n The Demon advances on me. Then he stops. A hand grasps his cloven feet. The Fool. He whispers something up at the Demon. The soldier turns and kicks the Fool in the face. I hear a crack<\/em> and the Fool goes still.<\/p>\n The Demon turns back towards me, sword in hand. I back up again. The voice is whispering, shouting.<\/p>\n Kill him! Slash him, leap at him and take his sword! You\u2019re too afraid to do it? Let me out! Give in! LET ME OUT AND I\u2019LL DEAL WITH ALL OF IT.<\/em><\/p>\n No, no! I shake my head, trembling. I can\u2019t\u2014I won\u2019t! But the Demon is approaching, sword bloody. It drips to the ground. I back up again.<\/p>\n I have to run. I have to fight. I have to\u2014<\/p>\n GIVE IN.<\/em><\/p>\n Madness. I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to scream\u2014the Demon looks at me, and whirls. He runs towards the door the Fool was standing in front of and picks something up. A key. Only now do I see another body, next to the Fool\u2019s. A man in armor, gutted. There\u2019s blood on the ground. And the key\u2014<\/p>\n The Demon turns it in the lock. He throws the door open and rushes inside. I freeze. Then I hear a high-pitched scream. It\u2019s a voice I recognize.<\/p>\n Erille\u2019s. I don\u2019t recall running to the door, but now I stand inside it. The Demon is inside, and so is Erille. The room is huge, beautiful. She\u2019s sitting in a four-poster bed, eyes wide. The Demon towers over her, one clawed hand reaching for her, grabbing.<\/p>\n Her eyes are wide. The Demon\u2019s pulling at her, the bloody sword in his hands. He\u2019ll kill her.<\/p>\n LET ME OUT.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cNo!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n I scream the word, and throw. The Demon twists, eyes staring at me, and freezes. Erille shrieks in horror and I hear a sound I\u2019ll remember forever.<\/p>\n Thunk.<\/em><\/p>\n The blade stops, embedded in the Demon\u2019s forehead. He blinks, reaches up to feel at the piece of metal in his head. He never completes the motion, but slumps onto the bed, half over Erille. She screams again.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n I run over to her. She screams at me. I pull the Demon off her, and the girl is screaming, pulling the covers over her face. I reach for her, hesitate. There\u2019s someone laughing in my head. But I did that! I\u2014<\/p>\n \u201cBehind!\u201d<\/p>\n Her voice makes me whirl. I turn, and there\u2019s a second shape in the doorway. Another Demon, with two knives in his hands. He stares at the fallen Demon on the ground and roars at me.<\/p>\n GIVE\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n This time I push the voice down. I stare at the Demon and he stares back. Now my blood is on fire. And I know what I have to do.<\/p>\n I charge the second Demon. He might be tall, but I\u2019m heavy<\/em>. We crash into each other and I feel him stabbing, quick as lightning. His knife goes into my stomach, one, two, three, four\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n The blade vanishes. I yank it away from him and now it\u2019s in my hands. He stabs towards my face before jerking away, realizing his hand is now empty. I slash at him, but we\u2019re too locked together.<\/p>\n We roll on the floor as the [Princess] flees her bed. All I can see is the Demon\u2019s face. His eyes are wide, green\u2014he has no whites, just green sclera and yellow pupils shaped like diamonds, locked on me.<\/p>\n I can hear laughter, I can feel the madness taking over. But I fight it down as I stab back at the Demon. I\u2019m in control! In this eternal moment of death and violence I realize it. It\u2019s just me. I scream it at him.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s me! I\u2019m in control! Me! This is my choice!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019ll kill. I stab the knife and feel it enter something. The Demon stabs me with his other knife, twisting the blade. I\u2019ve felt pain before. I push mine deeper, deeper.<\/p>\n He stops moving. The lance of metal tears into me again. It\u2019s just his hands and mine, seeking each other\u2019s lives. I look at the Demon, straight into his eyes, and he looks at me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou and I\u2014are both monsters.\u201d<\/p>\n His eyes widen. His grip on the dagger loosens. I feel his claws tearing at my belly, and then relax. He stiffens, and I push myself off him.<\/p>\n The dagger\u2014his dagger\u2014is shoved hilt-deep into his chest, right where his heart would be if he\u2019s like a Human. He\u2019s covered in blood.<\/p>\n My blood.<\/p>\n I stagger upright, feeling a gaping\u2026emptiness in my chest. I hear a sound. I turn, and Erille flinches away from me. I look down and see only blood and torn flesh where my chest should be.<\/p>\n \u201cOh. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m scaring her. I look at the Demon at the foot of her bed, and then the one at my feet.<\/p>\n Two Demons. Both dead. I did that. I did.<\/p>\n I should be angry, or sad. Or shocked. But I just stare at them. Dead. That\u2019s all.<\/p>\n I killed them. I did it. But that doesn\u2019t matter. I don\u2019t care. What\u2019s important is\u2014is\u2014<\/p>\n Blood drips to the floor. I turn to Erille. She huddles in her blankets, eyes wide, staring. But it\u2019s important she knows. There\u2019s no danger anymore. None.<\/p>\n \u201cJust me. I did it. I\u2019m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n I stare down at my bloody hands and feel the deep cuts on my belly bleeding. The pain\u2014I\u2019ve felt worse. I clench my fingers tightly around the dagger still buried in my side. It hurts. But I\u2019m me.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no one else in here. Just Tom. Tom the [Clown].<\/p>\n Tom the Murderer.<\/p>\n \u201cYou should probably scream for help. Or something.\u201d<\/p>\n I tell Erille that as I slowly sink to the ground. She looks at me and then turns, grabbing for something on her dresser. I hear her voice\u2014very distant.<\/p>\n It\u2019s all fading away. I stare towards one wall. Hey, Erille has a dresser like mine. I see the blood-spattered room reflected in it, and a young man lying on top of a Demon\u2019s body, covered in blood.<\/p>\n He\u2019s me, but he\u2019s not me. The other Tom looks up.<\/p>\n He grins at me. A white devil dancing in a pool of crimson. He stares at me, and I think he winks for a second. His smile is like blood. But it\u2019s just in my head. I turn from the mirror.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all in my head. All.\u201d<\/p>\n Just me. Then throughout the castle I hear a ringing noise, like bells, and hear shouting, bells and shouting and a horn now, like a siren. I listen to the sounds, and hear him whispering in my head.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not over Tom. Not over. Not yet.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re just\u2026just\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Someone\u2019s bent over me. Erille? She has a bottle in her hands and she\u2019s pouring it over my chest. The world goes dark. But I can still hear him.<\/p>\n I\u2019m as real as you are, Tom. I\u2019m waiting for you to let me out. This was only the beginning.<\/em><\/p>\n And the devil laughs, and I smile. Because he\u2019s not real.<\/p>\n He\u2019s just in my head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Previous Chapter<\/a> Next Chapter<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Blighted King has a presence. It weighs down on me as I walk forwards. The silent feasting hall is too long, and the few of us have to walk past the watching guests, hearts pounding. And as we approach the front of the room, I feel it. The King sits at his table, next […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52856846,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_searchwp_excluded":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"patreon-level":0,"patreon_level":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11693084,349],"tags":[7224,250708,4330244,4472517,11693079],"twi_volume":[11693133],"twi_collection":[],"class_list":["post-4278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-volume-4","category-writing","tag-fantasy","tag-inn","tag-web-novel","tag-web-serial","tag-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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