{"id":1751,"date":"2017-05-19T19:24:08","date_gmt":"2017-05-19T19:24:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wandering-inn\/?p=1751"},"modified":"2025-12-24T00:56:21","modified_gmt":"2025-12-24T00:56:21","slug":"1-01-c","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/2017\/05\/19\/1-01-c\/","title":{"rendered":"1.01 C"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Perhaps it\u2019s just as well the gods are dead. Because as I hold a dying child in my arms, I can\u2019t believe in anything greater. Not God, not heaven\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Certainly not myself.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve always been a failure. It eats at me in the dark times and my happy moments. Before, I had medicine to stop the thoughts clawing at me, dragging me down. But now I see I was always right. The happy times were an illusion.<\/p>\n<p>I can do nothing. I am nothing. I can\u2019t be a hero, I can\u2019t fight. I can\u2019t even save a single kid.<\/p>\n<p>Wilen gasps as he clings to me. He\u2019s still alive. But not for long. I can see it. His spine and lower torso are\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt hurts. A bit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s biting down so hard his teeth have gone through his <em>lips<\/em>. I hold him to my chest. I don\u2019t know what to say.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re going to be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He gives me the same look as whenever I make a truly terrible joke. It almost makes me want to laugh.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m going to die. But you should run. He\u2019s coming.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can hear the Troll thumping towards me down the street. The gargantuan bastard is taking his time, strolling along. I don\u2019t move. I can\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not leaving you here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ve got to. I am dying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He says it so matter-of-fact, but his small hand is squeezing my arm. I know he\u2019s right. He does too. I don\u2019t know what to do. He holds something out to me. A sword? No\u2014just a knife. A kitchen knife. He must have tried to defend himself.<\/p>\n<p>It falls from his fingers. He can\u2019t even hold it. Wilen is in pain. He\u2019s\u2014I can see the hurt in his eyes.<\/p>\n<p>So I tell a joke.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey. I\u2019ve got a joke for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I say it out of desperation, out of fear. Because he hurts and I want to take away the pain.<\/p>\n<p>Wilen looks at me. He tries to smile and fails. Sweat and tears roll down his face, indistinguishable.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs it a good one?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I take a deep breath. I don\u2019t have a joke. But it comes to me in a flash.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWh-what do you call a fat [Clown] sitting in front of a Troll?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Wilen gasps. His face goes a little paler, and he grips my arm as strongly as he can. His grasp is weakening. I look down, and see the blood pooling under the skin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat? What\u2019s a\u2026fat [Clown] sitting in front of a Troll?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe main course.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not funny. But he giggles, and blood trickles out of his stomach.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s good. But I don\u2019t want\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He loses focus for a second and stops speaking. I hold him in my arms for a while, waiting for him to finish the sentence. Then I realize he\u2019s dead.<\/p>\n<p>Behind me the earth shakes and I hear a heavy laugh from overhead. I smell a terrible, putrid stench, and the smell of blood and death.<\/p>\n<p>But I don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n<p>My head is swimming, but my eyes are dry. All my tears run from my heart. Like blood, dripping onto the ground. My blood.<\/p>\n<p>Everything is spinning. I can feel death approaching, snuffling and grunting. The Troll.<\/p>\n<p>I close Wilen\u2019s eyes and move. I stand up. I keep moving. And I smile.<\/p>\n<p>I am not happy. I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever be happy again. But this is tragedy, and I can either fold up and die, or move on.<\/p>\n<p>Because that\u2019s what a clown does. I think I get it. We make comedy out of tragedy, and pretend everything\u2019s funny when it\u2019s not. We\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Tell jokes so no one can see the tears inside.<\/p>\n<p>The Troll is behind me. I see his massive shadow as he raises his club. Laughing. But he doesn\u2019t get it. He doesn\u2019t understand true humor. He doesn\u2019t understand anything.<\/p>\n<p>I close my eyes. Sometimes you just need to let go. And let the funny inside you out.<\/p>\n<p><em>Ha. It was a pretty funny joke.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Hahahaha.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:200%\"><em>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA\u2014<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>[Clown Level 24!]<\/p>\n<p>[Skill \u2013 Greater Pain Tolerance Obtained.]<\/p>\n<p>[Skill \u2013 Devil\u2019s Luck Obtained.]<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#ff0000\">[Condition \u2013 Horrific Laughter Received.]<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#ff0000\">[Condition \u2013 Lesser Insanity Received.]<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Oh. <em>Oh.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So <em>that\u2019s <\/em>what it feels like. It feels great. It feels aMaZIng.<\/p>\n<p>I was right all along. Classes are what we make them. A [Clown] might not exist in this world, but we brought a bit of our world with us.<\/p>\n<p>And [Clowns] aren\u2019t just funny.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re<em> hilarious.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Remember when I said I had depression? I lied.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1760\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/2017\/05\/19\/1-01-c\/reveal\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1.png\" data-orig-size=\"517,73\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Reveal\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1-300x42.png\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1.png\" style=\"border: none;background: none\" class=\"invert-light size-full wp-image-1760 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1.png\" alt=\"Reveal\" width=\"517\" height=\"73\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1.png 517w, https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/reveal1-300x42.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 517px) 100vw, 517px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And right now, the world is terribly, awfully, and horribly funny to me.<\/p>\n<p>I put down the small body on the ground and stand up. The Troll stands over me, licking his lips. He laughs thickly, cruelly. That\u2019s not a laugh. I show him what a <em>real<\/em> laugh sounds like.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHehe. Ohoho. Hahahaha. <em>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It hears me laughing. The Troll\u2019s huge face wrinkles up in confusion. He doesn\u2019t like what he hears. He doesn\u2019t like the sound I\u2019m making.<\/p>\n<p>He swings his club. I go flying. Like a bird! I\u2019m just a clown. I can\u2019t dodge. Why would anyone think I could dodge?<\/p>\n<p>I think my bones break as I hit the ground. But I sit up and keep laughing. Pain is just another side of pleasure, right? It\u2019s so funny my broken ribs don\u2019t even bother me.<\/p>\n<p>The Troll stomps over towards me. He punches me as I sit up and down I go. Whee!<\/p>\n<p>Haha. It hurts! It hurts and I bleed.<\/p>\n<p>The Troll reaches to grab me, and then pauses as he notices the knife in his arm. It goes in and out as I stab.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStab. Stab. Stab. Stabbity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He stares at me. I <em>giggle<\/em>. Trolls bleed red! A wonderful discovery!<\/p>\n<p>The Troll <em>roars <\/em>in my face. Ooh, scary. He steps back and raises his club. A bit too far!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAha! A weak spot!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This time he <em>screams<\/em> as I stick the knife right into his loincloth. He throws me away and I roll around. Poor bones! Poor flesh! Where\u2019s my healing potion?<\/p>\n<p>The Troll stares at me as I lurch to my feet. He clutches at his groin and staggers away. I\u2019m not hurting him much, but he\u2019s too afraid. Of what? My face? The laughing? Can\u2019t he take a joke?<\/p>\n<p>I take two steps and remember. Oh right. Bones are broken! I take the potion Richard gave me. How horrible it is! What\u2019s the point of getting hurt if you\u2019re going to fix it so easily?<\/p>\n<p>I drink the potion down completely. And then a second. It burns like fire. Healing potions aren\u2019t meant to be consumed so much as applied. Too much, and you\u2019ll suffer. But what\u2019s suffering?<\/p>\n<p>The Troll runs off\u2014well, limps, really. I follow him. How am I supposed to find anyone with all this <em>smoke?<\/em> I keep tripping over dead bodies. Honestly. You\u2019d think the villagers would clean up after themselves after they go bleeding all over the place.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I see the Demons. Eight of them, standing together. A group of archers, firing at someone in the distance. I hear a <em>scream<\/em>, and then the Troll shouts something at the archers as he runs towards them.<\/p>\n<p>One turns her face, and I see a harsh, angular face, dark purple fur, and two ram\u2019s horns. Hey, Eddy was right! They do sort of look like that.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow. She is <em>hot!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But she had compound eyes, and some kind of chitin on her upper body that looks like armor. Mutants. Oh god.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s too funny. I\u2019m fighting <em>X-men?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cHah!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looks at me. She\u2019s probably in charge of this merry band. And oh look, they\u2019ve got bows!<\/p>\n<p>The other demons vary in appearance as well. One looks like he\u2019s got fish scales, another one looks human except for the horn sticking out of his forehead, and another one is sliming from the arm.<\/p>\n<p>Something inside of me wants to rage out. Something in me is disappointed. Demons? These are just people with skin problems. They\u2019re no different than humans. They work as a team\u2014they fight and kill, and they probably fear and hate us as much as we hate them.<\/p>\n<p>What a crappy thing to be afraid of.<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s not what a [Clown] does! My thoughts twist, and my lips do the same. A [Clown] points out the way the world is broken and laughs at it. I\u2019m an entertainer. A funny guy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSmile, smile, <em>smile.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Troll runs past the group of archers, ignoring their leader\u2019s orders to stop or take a bath. And now they\u2019re looking around. Oh my. Did I scare the big bad demons?<\/p>\n<p>One of them looks my way and shouts something. The others raise their bows and take aim, but uncertainly. Oops. I\u2019m in the shadows, aren\u2019t I? Well, time for the dramatic reveal.<\/p>\n<p>I step out and give them a big grin and a bow. First impressions are important. And I must be a good showman.<\/p>\n<p>Oddly, they all freeze when my face comes into view. Why? Is it my winning smile? Something on my face?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t look so frightened. I\u2019m here to put a smile on your faces. Want to hear a funny joke?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Demon lieutenant raises her bow. She looses an arrow at my head before I can blink.<\/p>\n<p>Something rips open my cheek. I blink, and touch at the cut flesh.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey! I nearly died!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She blinks at me. I glare at her, and then grin as I lick the blood.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you call a fat man standing in front of a bunch of archers? A pincushion?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I laugh and the Demons stare at me uncertainly. Don\u2019t they get the <em>joke<\/em>? Or can\u2019t they hear me? That\u2019s even funnier.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA\u2014<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another arrow misses my head as I double over, full of mirth. Whoops! I stand back upright, and spread my arms out. I walk towards them, shouting merrily.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCome on then! Fire! Fill me full of arrows!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The archers hesitate. They\u2019ve never seen anyone just walk at them, arms stretched out wide. I grin at the gleaming arrow tips.<\/p>\n<p>One of them fires. This time he hits me in the leg. I stumble, but hey, what\u2019s an arrow between friends? There\u2019s a potion in my pocket. I pull it out of the air and drink it as another one hits my other leg. And I move towards them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you really think\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another arrow appears in my chest and I stumble. But the potion works. I regain my footing and keep walking.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you really think you can shoot a guy with a great smile like mine?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The arrow tips are seeking my heart. But they\u2019ve missed. And there\u2019s nothing for them to pierce, anyways. My heart\u2019s in my mouth. Get it? Ha.<\/p>\n<p>One of the leather-clad Demons lowers his bow as I draw close to him. He rips a sword out of his sheathe. Ooh, <em>scary.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I wave at him, and smile wider. His eyes are wide as he stares at me. What? Am I <em>that<\/em> ugly or is it the lack of horns?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey. Wanna see a magic trick?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He blinks at the unfamiliar words. But that\u2019s okay; I\u2019m going to show him. I flick my hand, and a knife appears in it. I\u2019d prefer a bunny, but they\u2019re harder to kill people with.<\/p>\n<p>The archer isn\u2019t ready for that. He hesitates, and I slash at his throat.<\/p>\n<p>I miss. He\u2019s got a Skill, or maybe he\u2019s just more athletic than an uncoordinated guy with arrows sticking out his chest. He leans back and the knife strikes his armor instead. The impact jars the blade out of my hand.<\/p>\n<p>Oops. He stabs towards me with a sword, and I grab his hand. He shakes me off and tries to slash at me, but suddenly he\u2019s not holding anything. His sword is <em>gone<\/em>. I waggle my fingers at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Tada<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then I pull it back out and run him through with it. He chokes, and I laugh as I push him away.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNow, anyone know where I can find a pencil?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I hear a shout, and turn my head. An arrow spins me around. That one nearly got me for good! The Lieutenant drops his bow and charges with a long knife in hand.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAren\u2019t you just precious? Here, catch!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I toss the sword at her, and she dodges left. Right into the knife that\u2019s suddenly in my hand.<\/p>\n<p>But of course she\u2019s a soldier! Big, bad, and oh-so-skillful. She deflects the knife and then rushes at me. She <em>kicks<\/em> me so hard I feel something burst in my gut. But the potion\u2019s still in me, and you know what? It doesn\u2019t hurt <em>that <\/em>much.<\/p>\n<p>I fall to my knees as she raises the dagger over my head. She brings it down, and I bring my hand up. I catch the blade with my fingers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, this thing\u2019s sharp! Mind if I borrow it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The long, curved dagger disappears and the Lieutenant gasps. Probably because I just stabbed her in the stomach with her own weapon.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat, no applause? Your other friend thought it was good enough to <em>die for.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I nudge her a few times with an elbow as she staggers back.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGet it? Die for? No?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The other archers charge me, screaming, trying to protect their boss.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh come on. One at a time. Form a line!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I pull an arrow out of my shoulder and slash at one of the soldiers. He dodges. Ooh, he\u2019s got a knife too.<\/p>\n<p>He should have stabbed me in the face or somewhere wonderfully painful then, but I grin at him as he lunges, and he goes all stiff. His eyes go wide, and I make them even wider as I stab the arrow into his right socket.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook at me! <em>Look at<\/em>\u2014oh, wait. You can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I need better material. But now the other soldiers are pausing. Their leader is desperately trying to pull the blade out and use a potion before she bleeds out. So I give them my biggest smile to show them I don\u2019t want to hold a grudge.<\/p>\n<p>They run.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey! The performance isn\u2019t over yet!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I run after them, but I\u2019m too slow. And blood loss and all that. I look down and realize I\u2019m still bleeding from several spots.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPotions. They just don\u2019t work like they used to, do they? Back when I was a lad, we all had negative AC scores and mages could only cast 6<sup>th<\/sup> level spells. Bah.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The world spins, but it\u2019s nothing compared to the twisting in my head, and the laughter in my ears. Who\u2019s laughing?<\/p>\n<p>Oh, right. It\u2019s me.<\/p>\n<p>But I have no audience to share the funny with? I look around. Nope. Just dead bodies.<\/p>\n<p>Ooh, and one freshly dead Demon lieutenant! She\u2019s trying to drag herself away. Looks like her healing potions aren\u2019t as nice as mine.<\/p>\n<p>She screams when I twist my head and torso down to stare sideways at her. What\u2019s wrong? I even smiled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWould you like to hear a joke?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She slashes at me wildly with the dagger covered in her own blood. I tut and take it away from her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot very nice is it? Now, I\u2019m not a good [Clown]\u2014barely past Level 20, so give me a break, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I start chatting as I drag her through the dirt and blood on the street. She\u2019s shouting something, but I\u2019m trying to tell a joke.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s really, really good of you to put up with my bad jokes. I\u2019m just ripping off some of the greats, you know? Improvising my act. I\u2019ll come up with something original soon, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She spits at me. I laugh, and she tenses.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, okay. Too real? Too personal? I know. A [Clown] should be professional. Sorry about that. On to the real material! You wanna know how I got these scars\u2026? Nah, just yanking your leg.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I pull it and she gasps a bit and tries to get away. I kick her in her half-healed wound and she convulses. Then I pull the knife out and shove it in her mouth. Not too far, just far enough that it tickles the back of her throat. Her eyes go wide as I bring my grinning face right up to hers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHere\u2019s the joke! All you\u2014you people out there. You\u2019re fighting against these humans and you think you\u2019re the scariest things around. But here\u2019s the funny thing: you\u2019re just killing people like you. Ordinary people who become soldiers. We called you monsters and you believed it. But listen. You\u2019ve never seen a real monster.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I shove the knife a bit further into her mouth and she gurgles. The whites of her eyes are showing as I bring my grinning face close to hers.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m smiling. I can\u2019t stop. Her rough skin rasps below my gloved hands as I whisper in her ears.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy so <em>serious?<\/em> Can\u2019t you take a joke?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was cheap. But she still doesn\u2019t hear me. The Demon officer shouts something as I drag her down the street. Towards a burning building. I can hear the horses screaming in their stable.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShh. Shh. Let\u2019s go say hi to the nice horsies, shall we?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a heavy bar on the door. I huff and puff and nearly pull a muscle getting it out! By the time the doors open, the lieutenant is trying to run down the street.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHold on, hold on! We just got to the good part! And after you came all this way\u2014let\u2019s watch the final part of the show together, shall we?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I tackle her to the ground and grab her by the ankle. Ooh, cloven hooves. <em>Kinky.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She kicks me a few times in the face, but I don\u2019t leg go. I\u2019m just watching the stables. Any second now\u2026<\/p>\n<p>The horses inside the stable are nearly mad from fear and panic from the flames and blood in the air. When they sense there\u2019s a way out, they kick through their paddocks and rush towards the exit.<\/p>\n<p>The doors fly open. The horses rush out. The Demon girl I\u2019m holding screams and tries to get away, but I hold her in place.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>My little pony, my little pony\u2026<\/em>something, something, look out for the hooves!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The maddened horses stampede past us, screaming and braying so loudly I can\u2019t even hear the Lieutenant screaming. She doesn\u2019t even try to move; just curls up into a ball and completely misses the entertainment!<\/p>\n<p>Me? I\u2019m laughing.<\/p>\n<p>The first horse knocks me flat and I hear ringing. And laughing. Another one hits me in the face and my nose <em>breaks. <\/em>Another steps on my hand. The bones <em>break<\/em> and I feel the flesh ripping. And I\u2019m still laughing.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s morning and the sunlight is bright on my skin before I realize she\u2019s gone. I blink, look down, and notice the blood. It\u2019s all over me. On my hands, my face, my clothes\u2026<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m standing in a ring of bodies. Not human bodies; Demon corpses. Soldiers. They\u2019re all dead.<\/p>\n<p>Except one. How do I keep missing the last guy? Must be a blind spot. Probably the eye I can\u2019t see out of at the moment.<\/p>\n<p>I turn towards him staggering a bit. Hey, what happened to my body? Looks like someone tap-danced on my skin with a pair of skates.<\/p>\n<p>The Demon soldier flinches as I turn my face towards him. I try to appear composed. Shame on me. I\u2019m at a wake, after all. His. Did he hear me chuckling?<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s got a strange, half-melted face. Not from any injury\u2014it looks too clean to be a wound. The five bloody holes in his leather armor on the other hand are probably my fault.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey pal. You don\u2019t look so good.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The soldier bares his teeth at me and tries to raise a mace. But he\u2019s too far gone. He says something as he collapses in a puddle of his own gore. I don\u2019t know the words, but I understand him even so.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMonster.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s fair. Harsh, but fair. I feel at my face. Cuts\u2014broken skin\u2014nothing like how I remembered leaving it. But the face paint is still mostly intact, which is the important thing. Actually, I think all that blood\u2019s started a new layer. How avant-garde!<\/p>\n<p>I look around for my special friend, the Lieutenant who can\u2019t take a joke. Is she this body? This one? No?<\/p>\n<p>I turn over the corpses, but find no horns\u2014at least, not the ones I\u2019m looking for. She\u2019s not among them. I can\u2019t tell if I\u2019m disappointed or relieved.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m aware\u2026my thoughts aren\u2019t quite right. I\u2019m alive. After all of this, I\u2019m alive. I shouldn\u2019t be, but I\u2019m alive.<\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019m still insane.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHeh. Ha. Hahaha.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oops. Looks like I was completely right. But you know that thing about the hidden cost and all that? Probably should have read the fine print.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTom, Tom, lost his mind! What a shock; what a bind! <em>Ahahahahaha!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how they find me. Laughing and covered in blood, out of my mind in the ruins of the village.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a huge group of people holding weapons. Some of them I know; others are new faces.<\/p>\n<p>I wave at Richard. He\u2019s leading a group of eighteen [Soldiers] and several of the combat-capable townsfolk from a few miles down the road. He stops as I approach, and the [Soldiers] raise their weapons. The civilians just freeze and stare at me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTom\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Richard\u2019s dark skin is very pale behind the faceguard of his helmet. He looks at me, and I can see the whites of his eyes.<\/p>\n<p>I look at him, and he flinches. The others can\u2019t even look at me. I catch Emily throwing up on the ground, and even Richard\u2019s face is far too pale. I grin at him, and he takes a step back.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey. Want to see a magic trick?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMagic\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I spread my arms and bow theatrically. I gesture towards the death and destruction around me; the dead bodies and the burned village.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Tada.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The village is destroyed. Those who didn\u2019t flee for their lives perished at the hands of the Demons and monsters. But the Demons perished at the hands of terrible comedy, and I think the Troll just decided to go back home.<\/p>\n<p>The people from my world wander the ruins with the few villagers, staring at the death as the soldiers collect bodies and stare at me. Actually, everyone stares at me.<\/p>\n<p>My friends\u2014well, the people I arrived with can\u2019t even look at me. I give them my best smile and they just freeze up. Or run away. But the soldiers and townspeople don\u2019t look at me the same way.<\/p>\n<p>They can\u2019t stand the carnage either. But they look towards me and the dead with a different perspective. They count. They see only enemy soldiers, and me standing surrounded by the dead.<\/p>\n<p>They have something else in their eyes. Fear. Fear of the unknown. But hope, too. The funniest thing. They don\u2019t understand what I\u2019ve done, or what I am. But I killed monsters and they think that makes me a good person.<\/p>\n<p>Hilarious.<\/p>\n<p>Sleep and waking are the same part of the nightmare. I hear the voice, those dispassionate words that aren\u2019t said so much as projected into my mind.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>[Hero Level 2!]<\/p>\n<p>[Skill \u2013 Weapon Proficiency: Knives Obtained!]<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s so funny I can\u2019t stop laughing. And crying.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a [Clown] who kills people. I\u2019m a fat man who\u2019s lost his funny. I\u2019m just a guy who kills people and lets kids die\u2014<\/p>\n<p>But I guess I\u2019m still a [Hero], too. If that\u2019s not funny, I don\u2019t know what is.<\/p>\n<p>Want to hear a joke? A guy gets transported to a fantasy world, becomes a [Clown]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>And stabs people in the face. It\u2019s not funny I\u2019ll grant you, but I\u2019m working on it.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014Already far gone. Goodbye, Wilen. The part of me that still remembers whispers it. Goodbye.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m so sorry.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1751-1\" autoplay preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/archive.org\/download\/Laughter_201704\/Laughter.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/archive.org\/download\/Laughter_201704\/Laughter.mp3\">https:\/\/archive.org\/download\/Laughter_201704\/Laughter.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/2017\/04\/25\/1-00-c\/\">Previous Chapter<\/a> <span style=\"float:right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/2017\/05\/21\/2-02-g\/\">Next Chapter<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Perhaps it\u2019s just as well the gods are dead. Because as I hold a dying child in my arms, I can\u2019t believe in anything greater. Not God, not heaven\u2014 Certainly not myself. I\u2019ve always been a failure. It eats at me in the dark times and my happy moments. Before, I had medicine to stop [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52856846,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_searchwp_excluded":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"patreon-level":0,"patreon_level":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11693082,349],"tags":[7224,250708,4330244,4472517,11693079],"twi_volume":[11693131],"twi_collection":[],"class_list":["post-1751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-volume-2","category-writing","tag-fantasy","tag-inn","tag-web-novel","tag-web-serial","tag-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v26.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>1.01 C - The Wandering Inn<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderinginn.com\/2017\/05\/19\/1-01-c\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"1.01 C\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Perhaps it\u2019s just as well the gods are dead. 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