Do you wanna hear a funny joke? Okay. Here it is.<\/p>\n
\u2018A fat guy appears in a fantasy world and decides to become a [Clown].\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2026I\u2019m still working on the punch line. It\u2019s the only joke I\u2019ve got, though. I try to be funny, but really, I\u2019m a [Clown]. I\u2019m not actually sure we\u2019re meant to make people laugh.<\/p>\n
Curious about the parenthesis? It means I have a Class. [Clown], to be exact. Yeah. It\u2019s this entire thing which I don\u2019t want to go into.<\/p>\n
Suffice it to say that I\u2019m in a world where everyone gains levels and classes. Make sense? It doesn\u2019t to me either. But let\u2019s just call it a videogame where if you get stabbed in the stomach, you still bleed and die horribly.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to die that way, I just know it. I\u2019m a fat idiot who chose\/got the wrong class. Clown. In a world with monsters and magic, who wants to be a clown?<\/p>\n
Me, apparently.<\/p>\n
According to Edward or Eddy as he likes to be called, I shouldn\u2019t even have this class. He keeps telling me I\u2019m like a Bard or a Troubadour from one of the Final Fantasy series games. Number XXIV or something like that.<\/p>\n
I never played those games as a kid. I wasn\u2019t a gamer, and I sort of regret it now. Maybe if I was, I\u2019d be able to deal with this.<\/p>\n
Probably not. How could anything prepare you to actually fight and die against creatures twice as terrifying as anything from our world? Nothing could.<\/p>\n
So it\u2019s no wonder I don\u2019t want to fight. Maybe that\u2019s why I got the [Clown] class. Those first few days when we were all summoned to this world, I was just trying to cope by telling jokes and get people to laugh. I\u2019m good<\/em> at being the funny guy, normally. But then I became a [Clown] and everything got a lot less funny when we realized we were here to stay.<\/p>\n Oh yeah? Did I mention that? Okay, let me go back and explain. We\u2014and by we, I mean me and around fifty people around my age of 20\u2014appeared in this world thanks to a summoning spell. We appeared in front of this old guy on a throne, and suddenly everyone was screaming that we were the \u2018prophesied heroes\u2019.<\/p>\n Cut to now. Just over twenty of us are left, and instead of being the heroes of the Blighted Lands, we\u2019re disgraces sent to garrison a village on the outskirts, barely acknowledged by the throne or the people.<\/p>\n Because we suck. You know how the main hero in a movie gets teleported to another world and instantly has some kind of special skill or talent? That\u2019s us, just without anything special.<\/p>\n The King\u2014the Blighted King, he\u2019s called, Othius the Fourth \u2013 greeted us, and told us we would be the heroes who drove the demons out of his kingdom. He gave us weapons, sent us out into battle\u2014<\/p>\n And we got slaughtered. The survivors couldn\u2019t do anything, and so he gave up on us. He essentially exiled us from the capital city, and sent us out where we couldn\u2019t cause any trouble.<\/p>\n Some of the others, the people from my world, learned to fight. Some even got good enough to hunt monsters and keep the surrounding area safe. But most of us couldn\u2019t deal with what was happening.<\/p>\n Richard\u2019s a [Knight], Level 26 and the strongest person in our group by far. He leads us and keeps us safe.<\/p>\n Emily\u2019s a Level 21 [Hydromancer]. She\u2019s the idol of our group if you can call anyone that. She\u2019s popular.<\/p>\n The others \u2013 six or so guys and one girl who fight \u2013 all have some kind of fighting or magical class. The others either have barely one or two levels, or have chosen different jobs, like [Cook] or [Tailor] or [Gatherer].<\/p>\n The majority help fight and keep people safe, and the others help out or just\u2026exist. But that\u2019s the group. You can divide it neatly up into combat and non-combat classes, except for one oddball.<\/p>\n That would be me. The fat guy. A [Clown]. Funny man without anything funny to say about what\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n Tom\u2019s my name. It\u2019s actually Thomas, but Tom is what I prefer to be called. And yeah, I\u2019m the class clown of the group in more ways than one. But the truth is, I\u2019m not actually that funny. If you couldn\u2019t tell, no one ever laughs at my jokes.<\/p>\n I always wanted to do stand up, not slapstick. But it turns out I\u2019m not good at either. Yeah, I\u2019m an unfunny fat guy walking around with white makeup on trying to entertain people. Which is pretty funny when you think about it, and just sad when you actually see it.<\/p>\n I know, I know, I should have better self-esteem. And I\u2019m actually just chubby, not fat. Pleasingly plump. Slightly hefty. I\u2019ve got girth to go with my big bones, but I can still get around.<\/p>\n It\u2019s just that I feel like a whale<\/em> compared to all the people in this village. They all look like they escaped from some horrible refugee camp\u2014or prison. They\u2019ve got gaunt faces, skeletal frames, but they still keep going.<\/p>\n It makes me sick. But not too sick to stuff my face every day. I hate myself, sometimes.<\/p>\n Most of the time.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got depression. Clinically proven, not self-diagnosed, thanks. And normally I have a good hold on it\u2014well, I used to. But I\u2019m in a place where the only drugs we\u2019ve got are different kinds of alcohol. Good luck finding a bottle of antidepressants here, much less a drug store.<\/p>\n It makes me feel worthless. It doesn\u2019t help that other people share that opinion.<\/p>\n A [Clown]. I\u2019m actually Level 19, which might surprise you. But when I got that class I took it as a sign. I mixed some white face paint, added a bit of red for my mouth and learned how to do things like juggle. I ran around, tried to tumble for people, told bad jokes, and generally made a fool of myself.<\/p>\n Really, I should have gained two levels from that, at most. But it turns out that me and everyone who was summoned to this world gained the [Hero] class when we arrived. We\u2019re all Level 1 [Heroes], and no one\u2019s raised it any higher, but it makes us level in every other class a lot faster.<\/p>\n So I\u2019m Level 19 right now, and trying to get to Level 20. According to common knowledge, you generally get a better-than-average skill at Level 20 and a better array of skills after that.<\/p>\n Yeah. It is<\/em> like a game, when all\u2019s said and done. But it\u2019s too real for me. Too real, and too terrible.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t be a warrior, like the others. I don\u2019t want to kill things, even horrific things with tons of eyes and claws. Actually, especially not them.<\/p>\n I just want to level up this class. I think\u2026yes, I think it might be worth doing.<\/p>\n Right now? Right now, I\u2019m trying to make people laugh.<\/p>\n Picture the scene, if you will. There\u2019s a grassy spot in the center of the small village, a place where the dirt road turns to soil. It\u2019s a small village they\u2019ve put us in. But there are kids here, and people even this far out in the wilderness.<\/p>\n They can\u2019t stray far from the village. There are several [Hunters] and more than one low-level [Warrior] or [Hedgemage] in the village, but the real protection comes from patrols and the small garrison of [Soldiers] stationed a few miles down the road.<\/p>\n Thanks to us, that garrison is tripled in size, and the villagers feel it in the increased levies on their goods and supplies. We\u2019re even occupying the townhouse, a big building large enough to hold all of us together. We\u2019ve got beds, daily meals, and even basic amenities courtesy of the crown.<\/p>\n The village people don\u2019t have any of that. So they hate us.<\/p>\n But the kids\u2014ah, the kids still enjoy our presence. Unlike the adults, we don\u2019t have set jobs so we can interact with them. We used to more, but now most of the others won\u2019t even play with the kids.<\/p>\n So it falls to me.<\/p>\n Look, look at the clown! See how he waddles around in the grass? I smile, feeling the dried paint crackling on my face. I toss three carved wooden pins up in the air, and juggle them around for the audience of eight or so children who stop playing tag to watch me.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not the first time I\u2019ve put on a performance, and so the tired housewife across the street just looks once at me and then shakes her head and keeps walking. But the kids are more willing to give me another shot, so they watch as I juggle the pins.<\/p>\n They\u2019re horribly rough and awkward in my hands, but I did manage to color them bright red, blue, and yellow. Some of the paint wore off, but it still looks impressive as they flash over my head.<\/p>\n Okay, not impressive. But good. And it\u2019s a miracle I can juggle at all, you know. It wasn\u2019t a skill I had back home, but I learned it as I leveled up in the [Clown] class.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got several skills that allow me to do clownish things \u2013 juggle, do prat falls, etc. I\u2019ve got one horribly annoying skill that isn\u2019t active right now, thank god, and one weird skill.<\/p>\n [Loud Voice]. It does exactly what it sounds like. But it\u2019s odd. It\u2019s not a skill that a [Clown] would really need, right?<\/p>\n Normally, clowns aren\u2019t even supposed to talk. I\u2019ve seen a few in circuses, and they\u2019re like mimes. They might make funny sounds, but they don\u2019t speak.<\/em><\/p>\n But if I understand how this class works, then maybe\u2026<\/p>\n Oops. I\u2019m so caught up in thought that I drop one of the pins. The other two thump on the ground, and I search for a recovery as the kids mutter and scratch themselves, bored.<\/p>\n Right, how about this?<\/p>\n I pause, and raise my hands and pucker my lips. Then I point to my empty hand. The children watch my pantomime, knowing the punch line but still interested enough to watch.<\/p>\n I close my fist, and then do the trick where I pretend to pull something out. The only difference is that I do<\/em> pull something out. I flip the bright blue pin up into the air, and then pull another one out from behind my back. The yellow pin joins it, and I\u2019m juggling again, despite the fact that I never reached down to pick the pins back up off the ground.<\/p>\n The children laugh and point, and I smile for real behind the paint. That wasn\u2019t half bad. And it\u2019s all thanks to my Skill.<\/p>\n My only cool trick is that I can<\/em> pull objects seemingly out of nowhere. I have to have them on me of course, but within a 5 ft radius of me I can pretty much grab anything and make it appear out of thin air.<\/p>\n But soon enough, even my juggling and hat trick gets boring. Especially since I don\u2019t have any more props besides the pins. A real clown would have balloons, confetti, plates to balance on sticks\u2026<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got nothing else. So I stop juggling as the kids start to stand up and clear my voice.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes anyone want to hear a joke?\u201d<\/p>\n They look back at me. One of the older kids groans and shakes his head, but they stick around. Kids are gullible that way.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got this. I cough into my gloved hand.<\/p>\n \u201cUm. Knock knock.\u201d<\/p>\n They blink at me. At last, Wilen gives me a hand.<\/p>\n \u201cWho\u2019s there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoblin.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoblin who?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe. I\u2019m gobblin\u2019 up your food.\u201d<\/p>\n They stare at me, and then at each other. Then the older boy shakes his head.<\/p>\n \u201cI told <\/em>you that he isn\u2019t funny.\u201d<\/p>\n I can\u2019t tell jokes.<\/em> I\u2019m not wired that way in my head. I can only\u2026be funny in a group. You know, say something funny when people are having a good time. I can\u2019t make stuff up.<\/p>\n It took me ten minutes to come up with that one. All I get are silent stares.<\/p>\n One of the younger girls still sitting on the ground stares at me. Or more accurately, my flab. It\u2019s covered by my colorful clothes, but the contrast between me and them makes me feel even worse than I already do.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to help build another Wall? Or fight monsters?\u201d<\/p>\n What a question out of such a young face. I falter.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m\u2014not a fighter. I\u2019m a [Clown]. I do tricks. See?\u201d<\/p>\n I reach towards her ear and pull out a flower. Lucky there was one nearby. She giggles, takes it, and runs off, and I\u2019m saved. I straighten, and feel sweat running down my back. That was more intense than the juggling.<\/p>\n The Wall. It\u2019s one of the features of this continent, not that I know much about this world in general. But this kingdom\u2014this place\u2014I\u2019ve learned enough to survive.<\/p>\n We\u2019re at the very edge of what people call the Blighted Lands. Here, the Kingdom holds back the Demons. It\u2019s a basic story, because there\u2019s not much more than that.<\/p>\n Go twenty miles north, and the ground will start to change. The grass will turn black; the wildlife will change. Monsters roam the landscape, fighting each other, moving west to snack on humans. The only thing that stops them are patrolling groups of [Soldiers], adventurers constantly hired to eradicate as many monsters as possible, and the few towns and villages of people brave enough to build out this far.<\/p>\n And of course, the Wall. The Fourth Wall if you want to get specific.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a giant stone wall. Yeah. The only thing that\u2019s special about it is that it\u2019s stone, it\u2019s a wall, and it\u2019s about twice as high as the Great Wall of China.<\/p>\n That\u2019s 50 feet, by the way. I know that because one of the people with us \u2013 Marian \u2013 visited the Great Wall in China, once. She died the first time we went past it.<\/p>\n The four walls are the ultimate defense for the Kingdom. They\u2019re not just walls; there\u2019s magical traps and artillery built into the wall, and they\u2019re always manned by the best soldiers in the army. All monster attacks end at the wall, and the Kingdom behind it is relatively stable.<\/p>\n Sometimes things get through. In times of war, the Fourth, Third, and Second walls have been breached. But the First Wall has never fallen. Even the Demon King\u2019s army never got past it.<\/p>\n Monsters. Demons. There\u2019s a difference, apparently. Monsters are just\u2026monsters. They\u2019re anything from Goblins to Trolls to Manticores and Dragons. They\u2019re mindless, vicious killers. But Demons are different. They\u2019re mutated humans and other species that have their own civilization, their own army. They\u2019re one of three powers in the Blighted Lands, and they\u2019re trying to eradicate the Kingdom once and for all.<\/p>\n Three powers. The Kingdom; the place where sentient species (mainly humans) band together to fight against monsters and Demons. The Demon lands, the other half of the continent where another King rules, and then the place where no one goes.<\/p>\n The origin \u2013 or perhaps the center of the curse on this continent. The place where monsters keep spewing from.<\/p>\n Unlike other continents, monsters here don\u2019t just breed to survive. New species keep popping up over here. Something keeps producing different kinds of monsters. People say it\u2019s an ancient monster from the time of Gods, or some terrible spell that went wrong. Whatever it is, it\u2019s too powerful to kill. The Kingdom\u2019s sent countless armies to destroy it over the centuries, and not one has come back.<\/p>\n The Demon King as people call him is just as much of a mystery. Let\u2019s just say that a group of monsters is organized. They raid the Kingdom, and the Kingdom fights back. Each side gives ground and harries the other, sending raiding parties at times, massive armies at others.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve never seen a Demon. Some of the others have; Eddy says he saw one that looked like a Quanari from Dragon Age, it just looked like a person with goat horns. Which is what Eddy says Quanari look like.<\/p>\n That\u2019s the thing. Demons are just mutated versions of whatever species they were. Humans who got exposed to\u2026whatever lives in the Blighted Lands, affected by the magic or whatever. Some Demons have wings and talons and beaks; others look almost normal except for a few differences. The main thing you\u2019d really want to know though is that although they have humanoid forms they have no compunctions against killing humans, even kids.<\/p>\n And the same applies for humans. The war between Humans and Demons has been going on for a thousand years or more, and even if now isn\u2019t a particularly active moment in the conflict, small skirmishes and raids take place every week at least.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s peaceful. Despite it being in front of the Wall, this village hasn\u2019t seen conflict yet. Aside from monster attacks, it\u2019s practically safe here, aside from the poverty and everything. You can live in a village like this quite peacefully for years, given the right circumstances. The nearby outpost keeps away the worst of monsters and enemy attacks, and there\u2019s far more space here than in the cramped confines of the Kingdom behind the Walls.<\/p>\n The Kingdom keeps growing; that\u2019s why humans move out past the Walls. But it\u2019s not safe out here, where you can be attacked by monsters and Demons. That\u2019s why the King wants to build another wall. A Fifth Wall. For that, he summoned us.<\/p>\n With a bunch of powerful [Heroes], the Kingdom would have enough power to build another Wall and seriously constrict the enemy\u2019s land. The Kingdom would, in a single masterstroke, nearly double their available land and cripple the tide of monsters that harassed their exposed settlements.<\/p>\n And it was all going to work until it turned out that his magicians didn\u2019t summon legendary heroes from another time, but a bunch of kids. Us. He still had hopes though; we were all summoned with a class no one had ever heard of \u2013 [Hero]. No one in living memory has ever gained that class, and people were treating us like legends.<\/p>\n So the king gave us armor, weapons, and a bunch of soldiers and sent us out to fight on the frontlines. He thought we\u2019d level up quickly, so he arranged an expedition to a lightly-contested area so we\u2019d gain experience.<\/p>\n We went out on one of those forays. Just once.<\/p>\n —-<\/p>\n I trudge through the marshes, trying not to slip and fall in the muck. My legs are burning, but I don\u2019t want to complain. The men and women around me have swords and armor, and they keep telling us to be quiet in case the enemy is near.<\/em><\/p>\n I stare around at the dark landscape. It\u2019s just past evening, and we\u2019re trying to make it to the outpost built near here. The only problem is that since we summoned people are moving so slow, we\u2019re still miles away from our destination.<\/em><\/p>\n Wet soil squelches underfoot. I push away a dark blue plant worming its way out of the ground and shudder. Flies and other insects buzz around our heads, trying to bite us or lay eggs in our ears or something. It\u2019s miserable, but this spot is apparently important enough to fight a war over.<\/em><\/p>\n This is where the next Wall is supposed to be built. But the ground is black and twisted, and magic and fighting has created a swamp where solid ground should be. It\u2019s not like this all the way down the continent; the ground changes after a few miles, the [Soldiers] tell us. <\/em><\/p>\n The problem with this \u201cFifth Wall\u201d is that it has to be long enough to stretch across the entire continent. It\u2019s insanely hard to build one, and it takes decades. The king\u2019s made a good start though\u2014he\u2019s build fortresses and castles along where the Wall needs to be built, and they\u2019re trying to fight off attacks while building the wall.<\/em><\/p>\n And we\u2019re being sent to help. I might not have any real idea what\u2019s happening, but I\u2019m not sure I can fight.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWe should have argued more.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Ahead of me, Richard turns back and shrugs. He blends into the night a lot better than I do, which makes me worried I\u2019m going to be a target if we\u2019re attacked. He grins, and holds up his sword.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got weapons, and this rare class, right? And a ton of soldiers protecting us. We\u2019ll be fine!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Next to me, Katie slaps at a bug on her skin and catches it. She cries out in disgust, and the armed man walking ahead of us turns back, raising his spear. He sees nothing wrong and shakes his head.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cOh my god! I can\u2019t handle this. Why do we have to do this?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re [Heroes]. This is a gaming world. It\u2019s our job.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Eddy says that. He\u2019s trying to lug a massive greatsword behind him, and he\u2019s sweating horribly. But he wanted to be that kind of warrior. I think he regrets it now; it was easy enough to carry on the wagon ride this far, but we\u2019ve barely gone two miles and he looks ready to stop.<\/em><\/p>\n Katie shudders, but she doesn\u2019t protest. She still thinks we\u2019re in a virtual reality world, or dreaming. Over half of us have that opinion, but I don\u2019t. This all feels way too real. And being told that we\u2019ll be fighting\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n Most of the guys seem really into it. They chose weapons and talked about what class they want. But\u2014I\u2019m not a fighter. I don\u2019t think I could stab anyone. I have a sword I barely know how to use. I\u2019ve kept it sheathed because I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll hurt myself if I try to pull it out. How are we supposed to fight? Will it be automatic?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s so dark. And wet.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Katie\u2019s still complaining, even though she knows we should be quiet. She tries to step higher to keep her feet out of the mud.<\/em><\/p>\n Marian nods. She shudders as she steps in something that <\/em>bursts underfoot<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cDank.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Ron turns and grins.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cDank memes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Half of us chuckles or groan. Katie giggles uncontrollably. That\u2019s when the first arrow shrieks through the air and takes Ron in the chest. A giant, scaled monster with more teeth than face rises out of the muck. He raises a spear and\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n —-<\/p>\n I twitch<\/em>, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat. I wipe at my forehead before it can ruin the paint on my face, but it just smears the colors.<\/p>\n God. I still remember the sound the Demons made as they attacked. They were waiting for us, hiding with some monsters in the swampy waters. When they attacked, they caught everyone off guard.<\/p>\n Over a third of us died on that first bad night. The only thing that saved us were the soldiers; the king had given us a huge escort, and they died trying to protect us.<\/p>\n We got to safety, but no one was ready to fight after that. Half of us had some kind of breakdown, and when we returned to the capital, we didn\u2019t look at all like heroes. I think that was when the King realized he\u2019d made a mistake.<\/p>\n He had a few of his knights capture some monsters so we could learn to fight. I can still remember standing in the throne room as we were given a sword and told to cut a Goblin\u2019s head off.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t have to even try. They gave up before they reached me. Only three people managed to behead a Goblin, and the rest of us were throwing up or crying.<\/p>\n So, after a few days of sitting in the capital doing nothing, the King sent us out to the village. Since then some of us have actually leveled up like he hoped\u2014lightning fast according to the locals\u2014but most of us still aren\u2019t ready to fight.<\/p>\n After I\u2019m done clowning around I walk back home, or rather, the place where we all sleep in the village. It\u2019s the townhouse, and the only building big enough to hold all of us. Even so, as I push open one of the side doors I\u2019m still struck by how cramped it is.<\/p>\n Beds fill the entire room. Small rolls of cloth, actual beds with wood frames, and in one spot a hammock\u2014the villagers gave everything they had to give us enough places to sleep.<\/p>\n Over ten people are still inside, some sleeping, others talking quietly or trying to play card games. It\u2019s like this at pretty much any time of the day. True, some people like Richard and Eddy go out on patrols and hunt monsters, but the rest just sit around. There\u2019s not much to do in the village.<\/p>\n Awkwardly, I slip through the room and find my bed. Some of the guys and girls glance up, but they don\u2019t say anything to me. I\u2019m not exactly really popular, and I\u2019m also dressed like a clown. Sort of weird, right?<\/p>\n I sink into the rough fabric sheets of my bed and look around. The only person nearby is Vincent\u2014on the other side of the room I can see most people hanging out. That\u2019s the girl\u2019s side. We don\u2019t have any walls, but we made a cloth curtain for privacy\u2019s sake.<\/p>\n I sigh and lean back against the wall of the townhouse. Well, I did something. Not much, but I\u2019m already tired. I feel despondent; depressed. Like I can\u2019t do anything. I need my medication, but\u2026<\/p>\n \u201c\u266aDoo doo doodle do do doo doo doot~\u266b<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Oh god.<\/em> Not now. A few beds over Vincent sits up. He\u2019d been dozing, but he looks at me as I cover my face in my hands. It\u2019s happening again.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a cheerful little carnival tune, the kind you\u2019d imagine hearing at any circus you visit. It\u2019s clown music, it\u2019s loud, and it\u2019s coming from me. I don\u2019t want<\/em> to make the sound, but it\u2019s a Skill.<\/p>\n Everyone in the room pauses as they hear the sound. They glare at me and I shrug helplessly. Most try to ignore it, but after a few minutes the tune gets on people\u2019s nerves. For some people, it\u2019s the last straw.<\/p>\n \u201cStop it!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n I hear the voice, and then Cynthia\u2019s in front of me. She screams at me, face red as she points at my face with a shaking finger.<\/p>\n \u201cStop it! Stop making that sound!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry! I can\u2019t control it!\u201d<\/p>\n I raise my hands, but she doesn\u2019t care. She hurls something\u2014a pillow at my head.<\/p>\n \u201cStop it! Just stop!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n She doesn\u2019t like clowns. She was afraid of them as a child, I think. \u00a0And she\u2019s stressed out. Like the rest of us, but she\u2019s been crying more than most. And she just can\u2019t stand the tone.<\/p>\n \u201cGod damn it, <\/em>Tom! Can\u2019t you turn that off?\u201d<\/p>\n Someone else shouts at me across the room. I think it\u2019s Kevin. He stands up, fists clenched.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry!\u201d<\/p>\n Cynthia screams at me\u2014more wordless than anything coherent. Chole comes over and pulls Cynthia away while giving me the stink-eye. Cynthia goes with her, crying now.<\/p>\n \u201cI want to go home!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Vincent follows Cynthia with his gaze and looks at me. The stupid little clown music is still playing in the background.<\/p>\n \u201cTom\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI got it. I\u2019ll go. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n I raise my hands and retreat. So much for a rest. Whenever the music starts playing, I annoy everyone around me. I can\u2019t switch it off.<\/p>\n I go outside until the music stops. It only takes five minutes. It\u2019s never long. But it always seems to happen at the wrong time\u2014whenever there\u2019s a group around, which I suppose is the trigger. Thank god it never happens when I sleep.<\/p>\n When it\u2019s finally quiet again, I hear voices arguing. In the time I\u2019ve been gone, it looks like an argument\u2019s started. My fault.<\/p>\n \u201cWell call them back.<\/em> Why can\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Chole is arguing as she points to Vincent\u2019s phone. He\u2019s one of the only people in the group who had anything useful with them when they were caught by the spell. It was running out of batteries, but we found out that a [Mage] can cast [Repair] to recharge it.<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn\u2019t work like that! It was a spell<\/em> that did the call, not the phone itself!\u201d<\/p>\n Vincent holds his iPhone protectively as he argues with her. It\u2019s been nearly two weeks since we got the call where we realized we weren\u2019t the only people in this world, and we haven\u2019t heard anything since. All the euphoria we got from realizing we might be saved is long gone, and we\u2019re even more worried since it seems someone\u2019s gunning for us.<\/p>\n Faces turn red, and they begin an old argument again. I listen as I go back to my bed, trying not to attract attention.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy can\u2019t<\/em> we use a spell? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe guy who made the call \u2013 BlackDragon \u2013 he said it took a lot of magic! I\u2019m not a [Mage], and I don\u2019t think even Emily can cast the right spells.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell then what do we do?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Vincent shrugs. He gestures helplessly at the dagger on his belt. He\u2019s got a [Thief] class\u2014although it was from learning to set and disable traps and sneaking around, not from stealing things.<\/p>\n \u201cWe just need to keep leveling up. It\u2019s how the games work. We grind and then we get stronger. Once we all get to a higher level and buy enchanted gear\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBullshit. You think that\u2019s gonna help? We\u2019re going to die<\/em> out here. Everyone\u2019s abandoned us.\u201d<\/p>\n Kevin gets right up in Vincent\u2019s face as he says that. I try to hide as Vincent gets mad.<\/p>\n \u201cWell what do you think we should do? At least I go out and fight. All you do is sit around all day and complain!\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s true. Vincent\u2019s normally with the hunting party and Kevin\u2019s not. But that just makes Kevin angrier. His face goes really red and he shoves Vincent.<\/p>\n \u201cFuck you!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFuck you<\/em>, asshole!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop it! Stop fighting!\u201d<\/p>\n Chole and one of the other girls gets between the two of them before it can come to fists again. Behind them, Cynthia raises her voice as Vincent and Kevin let themselves be dragged back by the others.<\/p>\n \u201cSomeone\u2019s going to save us. Someone\u2019s going to come any day now\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n She rocks back and forth, mumbling to herself. She says it loud enough that the rest of us can hear\u2014but not so loud that we can really tell her to shut up.<\/p>\n When she\u2019s not upset, Cynthia keeps telling us that we\u2019ll be rescued. She claims that the army will find a way to save us, or someone will open a portal to this world or\u2014we\u2019ll wake up or something. She wants to believe. And some of the others do, but I think the rest are starting to think like I do.<\/p>\n Even if people notice we\u2019re gone, how would they get here? We can barely get to other planets, let alone to other dimensions. And even if by some miracle people build a\u2026a Stargate or something, how would they know to look for us here?<\/em> In a remote village in probably the worst part of the entire world?<\/p>\n Cynthia keeps repeating the words as she rocks back and forth. Stacy puts a hand on her knee, but the rocking doesn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n At least it\u2019s only muttering and crying and shouting at me. It could be a lot worse.<\/p>\n The last time Cynthia freaked, she broke half of the plates and cups the villagers gave us, and the only glass window in the townhouse and the village itself for that matter.<\/p>\n Is it any wonder why the people here hate us? I\u2019m not surprised at all. All this time, they were hoping desperately for someone to save them. Their King told them heroes were coming, and they believed.<\/p>\n They prayed for heroes.<\/p>\n Instead, they got us.<\/p>\n The argument isn\u2019t over. Vincent and Kevin are giving each other the evil-eye, and Chole still wants the iPhone, which Vincent doesn\u2019t want to hand over. He only gave it to Richard because everyone agreed he should be the one to talk, but aside from that Vincent won\u2019t let anyone touch it.<\/p>\n That came after a few bad incidents where people kept the iPhone and pretended they didn\u2019t have it\u2026as voices raise again I decide I\u2019m not going to get any sleep after all.<\/p>\n I leave the townhouse and wander around. I\u2019ve eaten enough. Well\u2014not enough since I\u2019m hungry, but enough to survive. I can handle the hunger. And I still have one of the fruity buns in my pocket from breakfast.<\/p>\n One good thing about dressing like a [Clown] is that you get baggy pockets. Add that to my Skill to pull objects seemingly out of nowhere, and I can do one good trick. And eat food when no one\u2019s watching.<\/p>\n Good thing Vincent didn\u2019t get into a fight with Kevin. Because if they had, he would have won. It\u2019s the thing about Classes and this world.<\/p>\n The thing is, Kevin\u2019s a big guy. Also African American, which I know is really racist, but he looks scarier than Vincent, who looks\u2026like an overfed white guy, if I\u2019m honest. Sort of like me, although he\u2019s in a bit better shape.<\/p>\n But Kevin has muscles<\/em>. Vincent has muscles, but not nearly as many. But if it came to a fight, Vincent would win hands down.<\/p>\n He\u2019s a Level 14 [Thief] with several skills that let him set traps, move around stealthily, and so on, but the levels have also made him stronger. We actually tested it; despite him not having any skills, he\u2019s a bit stronger than another guy who\u2019s as fit as he is. But he\u2019s faster too; a lot faster. It seems there\u2019s some passive benefit to leveling, but maybe it\u2019s just the Level 1 [Hero] class he has.<\/p>\n Because that would be the big difference between Kevin and Vincent. A lot of the people in our group\u2014all of the people who sit around in the townhouse all day but me, really\u2014they\u2019ve lost their [Hero] class.<\/p>\n It started happening a few days after we got to the village. One day Cynthia woke up and told us that she heard a voice saying she\u2019d lost <\/em>her [Hero] class. No one could explain it, and we didn\u2019t dare tell the villagers or the soldiers.<\/p>\n Slowly, it happened to the others. Everyone who wasn\u2019t fighting monsters.<\/p>\n Not me, though. And that\u2019s the thing. I think I get why it\u2019s happening, but I haven\u2019t told anyone what I think but Richard. And even he doesn\u2019t know the whole of my theory.<\/p>\n We\u2019re all Level 1 [Heroes], the people who still have the class. But none of us have leveled, even though Richard\u2019s a Level 26 [Knight] and Emily\u2019s a Level 21 [Hydromancer]. But none of us have leveled the [Hero] class.<\/p>\n Some of us think that\u2019s because there\u2019s only one level for that class. Eddy thinks it\u2019s a special class, and most people agree with that. After all, why wouldn\u2019t Richard level up? He\u2019s the leader and the best fighter out of all of us. If anyone\u2019s a hero, it\u2019s him.<\/p>\n Because that\u2019s what they don\u2019t get, the others. A hero isn\u2019t someone who\u2019s brave or courageous. A hero doesn\u2019t slay monsters or rescue princesses (or princes). If you look up the word \u2018hero\u2019 in a dictionary, you get a different answer.<\/p>\n A hero is someone admired or idealized. A hero is a person others look up to.<\/p>\n A [Hero] is only a hero if other people think he\u2019s a hero. Which explains how we got the class when we were summoned.<\/p>\n Trouble is, I\u2019m no hero. And I don\u2019t think anyone else in our group is, either. And the more these villagers and the rest of the kingdom gets a look at us, the less they think we\u2019re heroes as well.<\/p>\n So we start losing the class. The villagers might have some hopes for Richard and the other fighters, but when you look at a bunch of whining, crying teenagers and young adults who argue all the time and do nothing\u2026<\/p>\n We\u2019re useless. I\u2019m the most useless, but we\u2019re just a drain on the village. God. I just want to not be here. But if I\u2019m not in the townhouse, I\u2019d better try to level up again. I just need one more level.<\/p>\n This time the kids ignore me just like the adults as I start my juggling act. They ignore me as they play, except as an obstacle. Tomorrow they probably won\u2019t even stop to watch, and how will I level then?<\/p>\n Don\u2019t think of that. Keep smiling. Keep waddling around. I spin the three pins higher in the air.<\/p>\n \u201cA [Tumbler] can juggle six balls.\u201d<\/p>\n I drop a pin and glare at the boy who addresses me. It\u2019s the same one who commented on my joke.<\/p>\n Wilen. He\u2019s too young to have a job besides help his parents, but he\u2019s a bit too old to play with the other kids. He scratches at his uncombed hair as he stares at my fat belly covered by ill-fitting clown clothes.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo. I don\u2019t think so, I mean. Not unless the king\u2014I mean, your King sends for us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n Should I keep juggling? I really don\u2019t want to. I\u2019m sweaty, my arms are tired, and I\u2019m not feeling funny. Wilen stands with me as I look around awkwardly.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you trying to level up?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s weird to have a conversation like this, but Wilen is native to this world, and he seems perfectly at ease.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do [Clowns] level up? Is it from how long you juggle pins? [Tumblers] level up if they get a large crowd.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think it works the same way with [Clowns]. I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t they have more [Clowns] where you come from, then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey do but\u2026I don\u2019t know. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n I shrug awkwardly, just as unsatisfied as Wilen with my explanation. I frown and bend to pick up one of my pins.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s about making people laugh. I think.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut no one ever laughs at you. Your jokes are terrible.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen\u2019s one of my regulars, so he\u2019d know. I\u2019ve tried nearly a hundred jokes in the time I\u2019ve been here, but I\u2019m really just not that funny.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m Level 19, so I should be doing something right.\u201d<\/p>\n How much of that is due to the [Hero] class?<\/p>\n \u201cIf no one\u2019s laughing at you, that can\u2019t be the way [Clowns] level up.\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen says this as if it\u2019s obvious and I\u2019m an idiot for not realizing it. I nod, and he scratches at his head.<\/p>\n \u201cIs it about attracting attention?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026[Clowns] are meant to be funny.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally? But\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know<\/em>. But not really funny. It\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n How can I explain clowns to someone who\u2019s never seen one? I mean, how do you even explain the funny guys who scare just as many people as you entertain? In the first place, clowns aren\u2019t nearly the funniest bit of the circus act. They\u2019re\u2014we\u2019re the sideshows at best.<\/p>\n \u201cClowns\u2026are more like the jokers. They\u2019re like the butt of the joke.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoke? You mean, telling jokes?\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen looks at me skeptically, and I shake my head. Then I have it.<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2014it\u2019s about distracting people. Being a clown is about setting up the joke.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat joke?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n But it was right, what I said. Wilen frowns and opens his mouth to ask me another question. Gah.<\/p>\n I fish at my pocket, and then remember I\u2019m a [Clown] and pull the fruit bun out of Wilen\u2019s ear instead. He doesn\u2019t look impressed, but he does<\/em> look hungry. I hold the slightly-squished bun out to him.<\/p>\n \u201cHere. It\u2019s not very funny, but it\u2019s edible.\u201d<\/p>\n He looks at me suspiciously, but I keep my face straight. Wilen hesitates as he stares at the baked fruit bun in my hands. \u00a0Then he takes it, awkwardly.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n He shouldn\u2019t be thanking me. I should be thanking him. We\u2019re the village\u2019s responsibility; even if we occasionally get supplies from the capital, the villagers are forced to feed us from their stores.<\/p>\n \u201cSo. Um, how\u2019s it going?\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen shrugs as he devours the bun.<\/p>\n \u201cGood. I\u2019m trying to learn how to use a sword so I can get a [Warrior] class. My mom wants me to be a [Merchant] instead.\u201d<\/p>\n He makes a face. I guess it\u2019s sort of like wanting to be a policeman and being told to study economics instead. But after seeing monsters up close myself, I can\u2019t argue with his mother\u2019s opinion.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, being a [Warrior] isn\u2019t all it\u2019s cracked up to be. A [Merchant] probably makes more money.\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen looks at me scornfully.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd how would I protect myself when the Demons attack? They\u2019re gonna come again someday. The Demon King\u2019s going to attack the Wall soon, everyone knows.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got nothing to say to that. He\u2019s right. This isn\u2019t a safe place like America. Hell, America\u2019s not even that safe, but at least only a few people get shot every day. But here you could get eaten by a giant\u2026snail or something.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, good luck. I\u2019m going to uh, well, I guess I\u2019ll see you later.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen runs off to play with his friends. I waddle off to visit the horses.<\/p>\n The village has a large stable and about sixteen horses inside it. It\u2019s very barnyard in terms of smell and appearance, but at least the horses don\u2019t judge me like people. They just sniff at me and blow air.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t like horses, and I doubt they like carrying me. But no one bothers me there, and I don\u2019t bother anyone else.<\/p>\n It might be odd to have so many horses in a village, but they\u2019re there in case a message needs to be sent to an outpost or a [Soldier] needs one. Besides, keeping the stable earns the villagers some badly needed coin.<\/p>\n I sit in some straw, praying the squishy thing underneath my butt isn\u2019t something that came out of a horse\u2019s rear end and take a nap until I hear a voice and sense someone standing over me.<\/p>\n \u201cTom.\u201d<\/p>\n I look up at the sound of the voice, and try to smile. It\u2019s Richard. The leader of our wonderful little group.<\/p>\n He\u2019s returned with the others. They came in on horseback, eight people \u2013 three girls and five guys. Before, they\u2019d have an escort of soldiers, but Richard is considered to be enough protection to lead the group on his own.<\/p>\n Around me, people dismount, most still awkwardly. There\u2019s not a lot of natural riders in the group. I see one tall, pretty girl dismounting and brushing at her robes.<\/p>\n Emily. You could say she\u2019s the second leader of the group aside from Richard. Most of the guys like her, and she\u2019s got the highest level besides Richard. She sniffs at me, but doesn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n Richard dismounts and tends to his horse while the others leave theirs still saddled and walk out. He\u2019s a considerate guy, and he actually knows how to ride a horse. He grew up down south, in Mississippi, on a ranch of all things.<\/p>\n \u201cTom. How\u2019s it been down here?\u201d<\/p>\n I shrug as I stand up and dust straw off my pants.<\/p>\n \u201cQuiet. I uh, I made Cynthia cry when the music started playing. Kevin and Vince nearly got into a fight.\u201d<\/p>\n Richard sighs as he hangs up the saddle and rubs at his shoulders. He\u2019s wearing chainmail, a shield, and sword, but carries it all as if it weighs nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t you stop it?\u201d<\/p>\n I hunch my shoulders, and my voice gets defensive.<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t help<\/em> it.\u201d<\/p>\n He pats my shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cI know. Sorry. Cynthia\u2019s barking up the wrong tree when she gets mad at you, anyways. She needs to get out some, or she\u2019ll go crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll all<\/em> go crazy soon if we can\u2019t go somewhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou still doing your juggling act for the kids?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA bit.\u201d<\/p>\n People have no idea what I am. They stare at the white paint on my face and ask me what kind of class a [Clown] is. They don\u2019t laugh, and they just watch me until they have something to do. I can\u2019t make them laugh and take away their worries.<\/p>\n Richard picks at his fingernails as he leans against a stall. The horse he rode in on blinks at me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, Tom, you could come with us next time we go out. You\u2014could fight. We\u2019re going to go out hunting again tomorrow. You could join us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026don\u2019t think\u00a0 I can. I\u2019m not a fighter.\u201d<\/p>\n I get sick at the sight of blood. When I thought I\u2019d have to behead that screaming Goblin\u2026I still have nightmares about Ron and Marian.<\/p>\n \u201cBut why a [Clown]? Clowns aren\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n He trails off before he can say the rest, but I get it. Clowns aren\u2019t funny. Yeah, that\u2019s true. But there\u2019s a reason I decided to keep pursuing this class. It\u2019s just a hunch. Just a gamble, but maybe\u2026<\/p>\n I\u2019m saved from having to answer by a familiar sound.<\/p>\n \u201c\u266aDoo doo doodle do do doo doo doot~\u266b<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n We both listen to the obnoxious music in silence. Richard clears his throat.<\/p>\n \u201cCan you at least change the music?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I could man, believe me, I would. Anything but this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I guess it\u2019s good you\u2019re not coming with us when we\u2019re patrolling. Imagine that<\/em> going off when we\u2019re sneaking up on a monster.\u201d<\/p>\n Both of us laugh. Now why can\u2019t I be funny like that?<\/p>\n \u201cChole wants to use Vincent\u2019s phone to call the others again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s probably not a good idea. Remember what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah. But she said\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll talk with her. But we\u2019ve got bigger news. I just talked with an officer on the road, and he says we might be getting reinforcements.\u201d<\/p>\n I perk up.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean, more soldiers?\u201d<\/p>\n Richard shakes his head. He looks grim.<\/p>\n \u201cNo. I mean more people like us.\u201d<\/p>\n That takes a moment to sink in.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe King thinks we were a mistake. He wants to perform the summoning ritual again and call more heroes to this world.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow can they do that again? Isn\u2019t there a huge cost or something?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think they can keep doing it so long as they\u2019ve got enough [Mages]. They were saying that it took a lot<\/em> of mana\u2014and something else\u2014but they want to give it another shot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t really blame them. Can you?\u201d<\/p>\n Richard laughs, and looks at the hay on the stable floor.<\/p>\n \u201cNo. I can\u2019t either. But it\u2019s a mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n It is. More people. I try to imagine that. I don\u2019t want to see more people our age dying. Richard grasps the hilt of his sword reflexively and stares towards the doors.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll try talking to the soldiers again; try to get an audience with him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe doesn\u2019t listen to us. He never did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019ve got to try. It\u2019s the right thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n The right thing to do. No wonder Richard got the [Knight] class. He\u2019s always looking out for the rest of us, and he\u2019s got that famous Southern courtesy. He ponders as I watch him out of the corner of my eye.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I could convince him that some of us can be the heroes he wants, then maybe he\u2019d listen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou think you can?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Emily\u2019s over Level 20 and Red\u2019s nearly there as well. That\u2019s a lot faster than anyone in this world levels. If I can hit Level 30, I\u2019d be the equivalent of a Gold-rank adventurer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe you should be adventurers. Vincent was saying that\u2019s what we need. Magical items.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEddy says the same thing. Maybe. If we could get an escort back behind the wall and into the capital, we could try one of the dungeons. It would be a lot safer behind the wall.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n Richard falls silent, and I can\u2019t add anything. We stand together for a while, until Richard clears his throat.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n Funny. I mean, not really funny, but it\u2019s odd. When did we all start taking orders so easily? I mean, I haven\u2019t had anyone tell me when to go to sleep since I was a kid. But Richard says it and so we get back to the townhouse.<\/p>\n Cynthia\u2019s done crying, and with the others, the minor squabbles of the morning are forgotten. For a while we eat some bland stew with bits of meat soaking in the gravy, and then we all blow out the lanterns and roll into the hard mattresses.<\/p>\n I sit in the darkness for a while, listening to people talking quietly as more and more drop off to sleep. Someone begins snoring, and I put my head back in the pillow.<\/p>\n My eyes close, and I begin drifting off. But I don\u2019t hear any voice in my head<\/p>\n \u2026No level up again. Darn.<\/p>\n Something\u2019s going to happen at Level 20, I just know. If what I think is going to happen can happen, maybe\u2014<\/p>\n Got to make people laugh. Do clown things. I need a red nose. A tomato? Do they have those in the market?<\/p>\n Can\u2019t think. Got to sleep. I try to make the pillow slightly more comfortable as my breathing eases. Another day down. My thoughts dwindle as I close my eyes.<\/p>\n I really\u2026need\u2026better jokes\u2026<\/p>\n —-<\/p>\n \u201cTom. Tom!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Someone shakes me back into wakefulness. I look around, and see Richard\u2019s face. There\u2019s no light in the townhouse, but I can still see his face, lit by the orange light. He looks as close to panic as I\u2019ve ever seen him\u2014just like the first time we went past the wall.<\/p>\n He hauls me to my feet.<\/p>\n \u201cGet up. And stay quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cW-what\u2019s happening?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re under attack. It\u2019s a Demon raiding party.\u201d<\/p>\n Around me, I hear others waking up and spreading the news. I hear someone moaning loudly \u2013 Cynthia \u2013 and then she\u2019s instantly silenced. Only now do I hear the crackling flames, the screams, and in the distance, the ringing of metal on metal.<\/p>\n War has come to the village. And it\u2019s about to come to us.<\/p>\n Once everyone\u2019s on their feet, awake and scared, Richard stands up on a chair in the center of the building. He raises his voice loud enough to be heard.<\/p>\n \u201cA group of Demon archers is killing anything that moves in the square. If we go out on horseback they\u2019ll shoot us down. We have to sneak out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about the soldiers? Where are<\/em> they?\u201d<\/p>\n Emily answers for Richard.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re fighting at the outpost. They\u2019ll send help, but we have to leave.<\/em> Grab anything valuable and wait for my signal.\u201d<\/p>\n She casts a spell, and I see some kind of magical shield forming around her. She pushes a side door open cautiously, and a few of our fighters follow her out. After a second, the door opens and Emily pokes her head back in.<\/p>\n \u201cNo one\u2019s around. Follow me. Stay low and move fast!\u201d<\/p>\n Guys and girls start to funnel out the doors. No one else is speaking, but I look around and the words pop out of my mouth before I can stop them.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about the villagers?\u201d<\/p>\n Everyone pauses. Emily scowls at me, and points out the window in the direction the fighting sounds are coming from.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re fighting with the soldiers. We can\u2019t risk going to help them. There\u2019s a group of Demons<\/em> out there, not just monsters!<\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTom. There\u2019s nothing we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n Richard looks tired as he unsheathes his sword. He\u2019s going to bring up the rear. He motions me towards the door, but I hesitate.<\/p>\n \u201cThere are kids out there. Can\u2019t we\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n No one else meets my eyes. Richard hesitates, but Emily stares at him and something silent passes between them.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s nothing we can do. We have to leave now.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen I\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m shaking. But I can\u2019t stop myself. I think of Wilen and the girl I gave a flower to this morning. I can\u2019t not<\/em> go.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll go. I\u2019ll find you later if\u2014I\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n Richard stares at me. To my great relief, he doesn\u2019t try to stop me; he just pulls a flask out of his belt.<\/p>\n \u201cTake this.\u201d<\/p>\n He presses the yellow healing potion into my hands. Its high-quality stuff and I know it\u2019s saved his life more than once when fighting. I take it and nod at him. What can I say?<\/p>\n The others look at me, but no one says anything. After a few seconds, Emily pulls someone towards the door and they start moving again.<\/p>\n You\u2019d think one of them would try to stop me, try to tell me not to do anything stupid. But they\u2019re already leaving. This isn\u2019t a time for stupid heroic lines like a movie.<\/p>\n So why am I doing the stupid, heroic thing?<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know. I certainly don\u2019t feel like a hero as I scuttle down the street, trying to stay in the shadows. But maybe it\u2019s just because I can\u2019t stand us running away. Not now. Not\u2014without trying to do something.<\/p>\n I\u2019m just a [Clown]. I thought it would be a good idea, that there was something in there. But right now I don\u2019t think of classes or skills or anything else. I\u2019m just a frightened guy. Trying to do something right.<\/p>\n I hear someone screaming ahead of me and my heart stops<\/em> in my chest. But it\u2019s not a human sound. Ahead of me, the stable is sitting right next to a burning house. The flames haven\u2019t touched the stable yet, but the horses are inside and they can smell the smoke.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have time to free them. If I rode a horse\u2014but I can\u2019t.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n I say it quietly and move on. I can\u2019t stop. Every instinct in me is telling me I\u2019m in danger. I just need to find Wilen and the kids. They know to make for the outpost if they\u2019re in danger, but if the soldiers there are under attack, where would they go?<\/p>\n If I can bring them to the others, Richard and Emily could protect them. If\u2014<\/p>\n Something darts out of an alley ahead of me. I freeze, but it\u2019s no Goblin. A small form runs through the street. I shout out, forgetting caution.<\/p>\n \u201cWilen!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n He turns towards me, face written with desperation. He starts towards me, but then I hear a crash<\/em>, and something<\/em> bursts through a wall of a house behind Wilen.<\/p>\n A huge hand punches through the stone, and a club that\u2019s just a beam of wood sends burning wood flying through the air as it roars<\/em> and charges towards me. I freeze.<\/p>\n A Troll. A massive, gray-green hulk of a monster, squat face grinning as he lumbers down the street after Wilen. The boy runs towards me, and I freeze up again. What should I\u2014?<\/p>\n \u201cRun! I\u2019ll stop it!\u201d<\/p>\n Wilen stares at me, but I shove him behind me. The Troll pauses as I run towards his left side, trying to draw him away. He turns towards me\u2014the bigger target by far, and grins as he raises the broken piece of timber.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got to buy Wilen some time. I shout and wave my arms as I run left. I can get into an alleyway, lose him that way.<\/p>\n But the Troll lumbers to cut me off, and I realize he\u2019s moving faster than I am. He cuts me off and raises his club. I slow and try to backpedal, but too late.<\/p>\n He swings the broken piece of timber. So fast! Too quick to dodge. I raise my arm\u2014<\/p>\n \u2014And wake up on the ground. I raise my head and puke as my everything spins. I have to turn over to empty my stomach, but I\u2019m on my feet even before I fully think.<\/p>\n Wilen. Got to find him. The Troll must have thought I was dead. Where is\u2026?<\/p>\n Something\u2019s lying in the street twenty feet further down. I stare at it.<\/p>\n No.<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s still moving. I stumble forwards, feeling my body screaming in agony. But it\u2019s a distant scream; no louder than the one in my head. I run, and then the small shape comes into view.<\/p>\n Wilen. He turns his head towards me as I halt in the street. Despite the flames around me, my skin is cold. And my heart\u2014<\/p>\n \u201cIs that you, Mister [Clown]?\u201d<\/p>\n He\u2019s in one piece. Mostly. But his spine is twisted the wrong way, and his skin\u2014<\/p>\n The young boy gasps up at me, face pale. He\u2019s just a kid. Just a kid. Tears streaks down his face as I lurch towards him and fall to my knees.<\/p>\n \u201cI tried to run like you said, but he was too fast. He caught me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWilen\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n I reach for him, but stop. What can I do? There\u2019s nothing to do. Wilen gasps, his face pale.<\/p>\n \u201cI think he hurt me. Am I okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n My head is spinning. Wilen doesn\u2019t need an answer. He bites his lip so hard it bleeds. He\u2019s trying not to scream.<\/p>\n \u201cMister [Clown]\u2014he\u2019s coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n I look over my shoulder. Maybe the Troll found something else to kill. Maybe he thought we were dead. Maybe he just got bored.<\/p>\n He lumbers back down the street, dragging his club along the ground. He squints at me and Wilen, and then grins again.<\/p>\n He takes a few step forwards and I feel the thumping<\/em> in my bones. Wilen whimpers on the ground as the Troll\u2019s grin widens. His chest heaves as the massive creature opens his mouth. He\u2019s laughing.<\/em><\/p>\n I don\u2019t get the joke.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Previous Chapter <\/a>Next Chapter<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you wanna hear a funny joke? Okay. Here it is. \u2018A fat guy appears in a fantasy world and decides to become a [Clown].\u2019 \u2026I\u2019m still working on the punch line. It\u2019s the only joke I\u2019ve got, though. I try to be funny, but really, I\u2019m a [Clown]. I\u2019m not actually sure we\u2019re meant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52856846,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_searchwp_excluded":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"patreon-level":0,"patreon_level":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11693082,349],"tags":[7224,250708,4330244,4472517,11693079],"twi_volume":[11693131],"twi_collection":[],"class_list":["post-1725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-volume-2","category-writing","tag-fantasy","tag-inn","tag-web-novel","tag-web-serial","tag-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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