THIS!!

Literally had him worrying about this exact thing all through out the story right before his death.

“But the {worse} difference was in her eyes.”
{worse} -> {worst}

“The rest had followed{ }bad Minotaur out of the room.”
{ } -> { the }?

“A vision of Yvlon flashed in front of Ksmvr. She was showing him how to hold his shortsword.”
Extra space between sentences.

“He blocked Ksmvr’s shortsword with his left blade, forcing the {Shortsword} off-target.”
Inconsistent capitalization, should be {Shortsword} -> {Shortsword}

“Would it not be more cost-efficient to arm them with bows produced by high-level craftspeople{.}”
{.} -> {?}

“It appears that his raids have significantly hindered Liscor and the {adventurer’s} progress in the dungeon.”
{adventurer’s} -> {adventurers’}

“He moved {onto} the next point in his mind without dwelling on the consequences unduly.”
{onto} -> {on to}, as “onto” is used to describe placing physical things on other things.

> You may also think of it as a web serial, or a novella written in *small, 1,000-4,000 word doses*

. . . lol.

Nah, I’m talking about balance of themes. To make a reader feel more involved in sharing ups-and-downs.

Grim is good, tragedy is a given, death is nessessary… but this is the first time without any sweet in it. Not even bitter-sweet.

Just darkness and torture.

And I never asked for change, just pointing out some critizism – which is harsh. I admit that. This would be quite lame, if this epic story just contains butterflys and rainbows like a tv-comedy-show. I complained because this chapter made me upset and I tried to put into words, why this was the case. I cried for Pawn’s chapters and Bunkr and Zel. (Ulrien not so much, because he didn’t stand out to much, I guess.) I hated Ksmvr with a passion for what he did to Pawn (not anymore!). I was deeply shocked for Ivolethe. Countless dark moments made my heart ache.

But this chapter missed the mark for me. I can’t quite put into words, why this story plays with my heart-strings so effortlessly. It is a masterpiece in million little details.

Still upset though. About this chapter.

But I guess, I’m that silly “type of reader”, right?

The old [Mage] grimaced.

“Give me a night’s rest and *I will be*. ”

“Give me a night’s rest and *I can*.”

I guess you’re the type of reader who likes to read about cheerful, happy moments and the power of friendship. True this novel have such times but you have to know and accept by now that the novel also has moments of grim realty too. Especially after Bunkr, Ulrien and Zel’s death.

But just to say, a good novel does not change for the sake of some reader’s preference or because someone complains about it.
The many recent trends about people making fun of sjws are a good example of that.