…

But people drank and sat in silent reverentially, as if those words were a prayer. silence reverentially, or silent reverence…

Flos’ head lowered. Trey stared. It took him a few moments to realize Flow was bowing his head. To him.

Flow –> Flos

But there are valley and places where nature blooms

 

valley –> valleys

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the chapters themselves are badly written, or even that Flos is a “bad” character. Just that, knowing how he progresses through the rest of the story, he’s not nearly interesting enough to make the chapters remain exciting, like other characters can.

In a lot of ways, he’s kind of a Gary Stu character. He gives up his old kingdom, and the entire thing basically disappears over a span of 10 years. And even though his people are basically starving to death (and we learn of other negatives later on) because of his neglect, they almost instantly go back to his side when he wakes up. It’s like he can do no wrong.

I dunno, it’s hard to describe completely. I guess I just wish there were more consequences for his giving up. It just seems like he onky got a -10 CHR penalty for going to sleep… but he had 80 CHR previously, so such a penalty isn’t really much of anything.

“You have seen my mistakes, born witness to my failures.” I believe it should be borne instead of born.

So, please take the praise to heart! You’re incredible, and I’ve read so many little notes of thanks here, I know I’m just one of thousands of people who love what you’ve created. On the days you’re tired, frustrated, feeling down, please read these thank you’s and know we love “The Wandering Inn!”. Don’t give the naysayers and nitpickers any time….they haven’t created anything of substance, nor have they invested the years and years of effort in telling a massive, complicated story, with many points of view, capturing the souls of each of these people, imaginary or not, and rendering them in a form everyone can appreciate and love. That’s what you do, and it’s just one of the reasons we, the unwashed masses, love you! Please take comfort, strength and pride in that, and continue in your labor of love…we’ll be here, rooting for you, no matter how long it takes to tell this story! -End of rant

Noticed one spelling issue above… this line:
It took him a few moments to realize Flow was bowing his head.

Something is missing in this king. I find it hard to believe he has so much charisma that old people, people who have lost children in his ward, would still follow him. Unless his charm is a skill. And what sense does it make to wage war so much that a whole generation of young people are dead? He should be strengthening his own small kingdom, not preparing for war. That’s not the sign of a good king. But perhaps, despite his people’s love for him, he’s not a good king.