“But now—she’d taken then out of their home.”
‘Then” should be “them.”

There’s nothing inconsistent there. When Octavia poked herself with a pin after eating the soup, it still hurt a bit – it just didn’t break the skin.

It makes your skin “thicker” but doesn’t stop your nerves from transmitting sensations. Slapping your cheeks would still sting.

At least in Erin’s case right now, both of you seem to forget that most people from earth would probably be having the same problem Erin is. Even people living at/below the poverty level can usually have some sort of entertainment available, even if it isn’t much. Watching YouTube or reading for a few minutes before you have to sleep, or any one of dozens/hundreds of activities we have available if you have an hour or two.

Erin doesn’t even have her phone like Ryoka does, so she can’t even just sit around listening to music when she’s bored. She’s not at her inn, so she doesn’t have chess to play. She has no outlet, and prior to coming to this world, she didn’t even really have any sort of job at all – or, at least, not one that was anything like 12-16 hours of work per day that she’s now contending with.

Just think of how quickly you yourself get bored when you don’t have anything to do. Then imagine your options are sit around doing nothing, or working more. That’s enough to make just about anyone depressed.

Maybe take a break and come back?

you got it!!!

 It had belong to their parents, both of whom were dead or had simply left.

should be “had belonged”

 But now—she’d taken then out of their home.

then–>them